YOUR CHILD IS NOT BROKEN: Parent Your Neurodivergent Child Without Losing Your Marbles

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Although this is a very serious and hard topic to write about and I’m sure every parent goes through those pull your hair out times in life to a certain degree, but Heidi puts the humour into those moments as well as being honest about her struggles. It’s an eye opener to see a different perspective on those well meaning lay persons and professionals that are doing their best to help, but it more often than not ends up being more detrimental. I know it sounds callous but I found these written encounters the funniest. While she knows all of her letters and can sloppily write them and identify sight words, she can’t sit still, is constantly moving, she wants to play, wants to color, she wants to engage with everything and every one the point that she is disruptive because that isn’t what is expected of her. I am currently that parent and do you know what. This book has validated and helped me see it's okay to be that parent. Even if I do question myself many times a day. We had a lot to catch up on. And that is what I thought was going to happen — that catching up would fix the problem. Your child is a beautiful individual. They are unique. They hold so much potential. Yes, they learn and think about life differently than the majority. That is ok. That is normal. That is even a unique gift, this skill of seeing and experiencing the world differently.

Your Child is Not Broken - Pan Macmillan AU Your Child is Not Broken - Pan Macmillan AU

If we view our children as broken and messed up, chances are high that they too will believe this lie about themselves. And it will crush them. It will crush their souls, and the world will miss out on knowing this individual who has so much potential and so many unique gifts. As people we often make judgements about who is acceptable, and who is not. Who is intelligent, socially-acceptable, deserving, or beautiful…and who is not. We decide people’s worth depending on their skin color, or how much money we perceive them having, what their body shape is like, what sorts of accomplishments they’ve gained. We make judgements about a student’s intelligence based on how well they move through the school systems we’ve set up. If you are at the start of your journey with a SEND child, trying to navigate the system to find out what support is available, not wanting to chase people too many times as you don’t want to be seen as pushy, then this is the book for you. If you are further along, have already grown weary with the endless meetings with professionals, are fed up of being fobbed off by people minimising your child’s needs, then this is also the book for you! Heidi’s retelling of her and her autistic son Theo’s story gives an introduction to the challenges that parents of SEND children are likely to face, along with practical suggestions of what to say to professionals who just don’t seem to ‘get it’. I’ve been ‘that’ parent for nearly ten years now and while I’ve made my peace with how I’m sure I’m perceived by professionals, it never stops being exhausting. You never stop questioning whether you are doing the right thing and when you are tired and frustrated after yet another meeting it’s easy to wonder if maybe the professionals are right, maybe your concerns aren’t valid and you should just give their way a try. In those moments this book is a well needed reminder that it’s not you, it’s not your child, it’s the system that’s broken. Sometimes, it can feel like these things are true because your child doesn’t read or calculate or function like most children you know. It can feel like that when others are pointing out the ways your child is not fitting in or the ways your child is failing at school. Heidi Mavir writes with a heartwarming combination of joy, humour, rawness, vulnerability and endless empathy. I thoroughly enjoyed reading her perspective as a ND parent of a ND child.

this book found me at the perfect time. i don’t think i’ll ever stop thinking about it, nor will i stop recommending it. This would have been so beneficial at the start of the journey likewise where we are now with diagnosis and out of school waiting for specialist school place to become available this has been helpful. She is supposed to sit, listen, be quiet, be still, and wait her turn to talk in a room filled with twenty other kids where play and natural socialization are limited. And while most of the kids have conformed to this environment, kids with big personalities are supposed to turn themselves off like a light switch. The subtitle of the final chapter of Heidi Mavir’s book “Your Child is not Broken” is “Permission to Become ‘That’ Parent”, a phrase that to me actually sums up the whole book.

My Child is Not Broken, Our Education System Is - Medium My Child is Not Broken, Our Education System Is - Medium

It’s not about complying with the norms of society, but rather meeting each individual where they are and accepting their differences as qualities to their uniqueness. Believing your child is not broken! thank you for reminding me how brilliant he is and how it’s the rest of the world that poses the problem, when i really needed that reminder the most 🫶🏻✨ We know that a large portion of those in our U.S. prison system are there because they were deemed unworthy and broken because of their skin color. There is also a large group of individuals who are in this “school-to-prison-pipeline” because they were labeled as stupid or non-intelligent because of learning disabilities. Others are there because their extremely high intelligence was not seen or recognized as such. They didn’t fit the school’s pictures of a good student, so these highly intelligent students who were bored in school, were deemed defective.

As the mother of a ND child awaiting assessment, I’m spending a lot of my free time reading as much as I can about both ASD and ADHD (my daughter shows signs of both), and seeking advice and words of wisdom from parents of fellow ND children who uphold similar gentle parenting values to my own. This book interested me from the moment I saw it. Working in early years childhood education and being a parent to two wonderful teenagers I have experienced and read quite a bit about the neurodivergent child. However this is very different to what I have come across before. Heidi is open and frank about her struggles with parenting a child with autism and ADHD, while discovering that she is also neurodiverse. As a parent of a neurodivergent child this has been a really good read it tells you that you aren't alone.

Your child is not broken by Heidi Mavir | Goodreads Your child is not broken by Heidi Mavir | Goodreads

I can almost feel heidi giving me the tightest squeeze and reminding me that i’m a bad bitch & can get through whatever this crazy ride throws at me - for me and for my kiddo. It tells you that whilst you feel like you are battling and at war with local authorities and professionals you are right to be that parent. I also have to say you come across some amazing professionals too who only have your child's best interests at heart.

When we first realized that something was wrong with our child, I immediately became hyper-focused on getting her the best treatment. Your Child Is Not Broken" is THE book for parents who need permission to do things differently. Heidi Mavir almost died working out why that was necessary. Heidi Mavir is a late-identified, Neurodiverent adult. She is a public speaker, advocate, author, podcaster, and parent to an Autistic/ADHD teenager. She is a also chronic oversharer and a bit of a badass.

Your Child is Not Broken: Parent Your Neurodivergent Child Without Your Child is Not Broken: Parent Your Neurodivergent Child

Neutral point - there was a lot here that I personally have already read and thought about. Perhaps if you are newer to reading/learning/thinking about autism then you will get more from it than I did - clearly a lot of people love it. This needs to be read by parents of both neurodivergent and parents of neurotypical children. It needs to be read by teachers, early year workers and all the professionals that work with families who should have the children's best interests at the heart of decisions. In 2018 Heidi's son, Theo, experienced a mental health crisis, brought on by the struggles he faced in mainstream education as an undiagnosed Autistic student. Suddenly Heidi found herself up the proverbial creek without any paddles. With Theo too unwell to attend school - or even leave the house, Heidi committed herself to finding out everything she could about neurodivergence; education, health and social care plans; and what it means to advocate for your disabled child in crisis. The part about consent really highlighted to me that me saying no to suggestions is good and shows my child they have the choice they can consent to what they do and don't want to do.Heidi has spoken openly about the impact the process had on her, sharing her experiences as a parent whose own mental health spiraled as a result of the overwhelming stress and pressure felt by parents of children unable to attend school. But since Kindergarten started, I realized that maybe I approached this wrong. It isn’t going so well and it feels like we are starting all over again as I watch two years of progress fade away into darkness. She is having meltdowns and crying, she is falling asleep and taking frequent breaks from her classroom. I’m getting constant phone calls and communication from the school and it is puzzling because my child has a disability and an Individualized Education Plan. She is supposed to have what she needs to be successful and she isn’t.