Abused, Used, and Abandoned—Now Valued and Loved: A True Story

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Some of the effects that these drugs can have on you are loss of muscle control, difficulty with motor movements, problems talking, nausea, vomiting, loss of memory, loss of consciousness, confusion, dizziness, low blood pressure, problems seeing, tremors, sweating, slow heart rate, dream-like feeling, distorted perceptions of sight and sound, out of body experiences, feeling out of control, problems breathing, convulsions, numbness, aggressive or violent behavior, slurred speech, coma, or death. Waiting for a child to be ready to speak about their experiences could mean that the abuse carries on and they, or another child, are put at further risk of significant harm (Cossar et al, 2013). https://www.domesticshelters.org/domestic-violence-articles-information/10-patterns-of-verbal-abuse National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) (2019) Child abuse and neglect: quality standard [QS179]. [Accessed 07/09/2021]. Other torturers named by detainees are Emirati officers known to prisoners by their noms de guerre: Abu Udai, Abu Ismail, and Hitler.Cohen JA, Mannarino AP. Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy for traumatized children and families. Child Adolesc Psychiatr Clin N Am. 2015;24(3):557-570. doi:10.1016/j.chc.2015.02.005 Department of Health (2021) Guidance on information sharing for child protection purposes. [Accessed 07/09/2021].​

When people think of domestic abuse, they often focus on domestic violence. But domestic abuse includes any attempt by one person in a marriage or intimate relationship to dominate and control the other. Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” An abuser uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under their thumb. Cossar, J. et al (2013) ‘It takes a lot to build trust’. Recognition and telling: developing earlier routes to help for children and young people (PDF). London: Office of the Children’s Commissioner. Undue pressure, duress, threat or undue influence put on the person in connection with loans, wills, property, inheritance or financial transactions

But there can be a risk that if professionals just believe the child’s account without thoroughly investigating the situation, this can lead to unfair bias against the alleged abuser as formal investigations progress (Child Protection Resource, 2021; Transparency Project, 2018). The effects of Rohypnol can be felt within 30 minutes of being drugged and can last for several hours. If you are drugged, you might look and act like someone who is drunk. You might have trouble standing. Your speech might be slurred. Or you might pass out. Don’t blame yourself: You may blame yourself for what happened to you or think that you did something to cause it or deserve it, but you need to remember that if someone has abused you, it’s their fault and not yours. Remind yourself of this fact over and over again if you need to. Excuses– Your abuser rationalizes what they have done. The person may come up with a string of excuses or blame you for provoking them—anything to avoid taking responsibility. Find out more about abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault I think I am being abused or neglected. What can I do?