Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box

Product Information

Paulhus, Delroy L. (2007). "Self-Deception" (PDF). In Baumeister, Roy; Vohs, Kathleen (eds.). Encyclopedia of Social Psychology. SAGE Publications. doi: 10.4135/9781412956253.n479. ISBN 9781412916707. Archived from the original on June 23, 2016. {{ cite book}}: CS1 maint: bot: original URL status unknown ( link) The second part of the book explores how we get into the “Box” of self-deception. It discusses how we can deceive ourselves and how these behaviors can prevent us from being effective leaders. How We Get Out of the Box? This means that as we sit there on the bus or plane, we will probably see the other passengers as mere threats to us and our comfort, rather than as other human beings with their own needs. Evolutionary biologist Robert Trivers has developed a theory of “self-deception in the service of deception”—a dangerous loop in which people like deceptive and toxic leaders can be so good at deceiving themselves about things that it makes them more effective in deceiving others, because they don’t show the telltale signs of lying. They’re so good at lying to themselves that it makes them adept at lying to others and remaining somehow credible to them. “… if a liar can deceive himself into believing he is telling the truth, he will be far more effective in convincing others.”

Self-deception - Wikipedia Self-deception - Wikipedia

Collusion. When we’re in the box, we focus on blame and justifications, which trigger others to also get into their boxes; A downward spiral begins and we basically collude to stay in our respective boxes. We all practice self-deception to a degree; no man can handle complete honesty without being cut at each turn. There’s not enough room in a man’s head for sanity alongside each grief, each worry, each terror that he owns. I’m well used to burying such things in a dark cellar and moving on.” -Mark Lawrence, Prince of Fools Abe, Nobuhito; Okuda, Jiro; Suzuki, Maki; Sasaki, Hiroshi; Matsuda, Tetsuya; Mori, Etsuro; Tsukada, Minoru; Fujii, Toshikatsu (December 1, 2008). "Neural Correlates of True Memory, False Memory, and Deception". Cerebral Cortex. 18 (12): 2811–2819. doi: 10.1093/cercor/bhn037. ISSN 1047-3211. PMC 2583150. PMID 18372290.

Reflection Questions

Though it can be hard to detect, there are signs of self-deception in action. For example, we’re probably deceiving ourselves when we: This book is written as a parable, set in the Zagrum Company. The parable starts with Tom Callum, one of Zagrum’s new senior managers/ division heads, being invited for a day-long, one-on-one self-deception meeting with his new boss, Bud Jefferson. Such meetings are a tradition at Zagrum – they’re such a crucial part of Zagrum’s success that the top management invests personal time to inculcate the ideas in every senior management staff who joins Zagrum. Taking responsibility for your actions, whether successes or failures, can help build trust and respect. Think about what would happen if you were talking with your spouse about where to go on vacation. If you were self-deceived, you’d think that what you want is more important than what your spouse wants. The work of moving from self-deception to fierce acceptance of truth and reality may not be easy, but it’s well worth it. In the process, we’ll start trusting ourselves again and develop our self-acceptance as well as our authenticity.

Book Summary - Leadership and Self-Deception (Arbinger Institute) Book Summary - Leadership and Self-Deception (Arbinger Institute)

Stay curious and continuously learn, whether it's through reading, attending workshops or conferences, or taking online courses. America has a huge problem with self-awareness. This most comes to light during elections. People on both sides of the political fence fail to recognize those on the other side as regular human beings with needs and emotions. Avoiding self-deception is at the heart of effective leadership. When you’re self-deceived, it is impossible to be a great leader. Your view of yourself and others is distorted from reality.Leaders who deceive themselves into thinking they are always fitting may fail to admit their mistakes and learn from them, negatively impacting decision-making and progress. 7. Ignorance of the Reality - Self-Deception in Leadership People respond to how you’re feeling about them, not what you say or do to them. When you’re self-deceived, you see people as threats, nuisances, and problems. When you’re not, you see them like yourself with hopes, needs, and desires. Lead by example by promoting mental health in the workplace and encouraging managers and supervisors to have open and honest conversations about mental health with their teams. Self-deception occurs on a person-by-person basis. You can be self-deceived about one individual and not self-deceived about another. This article needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed.

Leadership and Self-Deception: How to Avoid Being Your Own Leadership and Self-Deception: How to Avoid Being Your Own

This astonishing book is a MUST-read for every executive or personal and professional coach.” —Laura Whitworth.Researchers have observed that drug and alcohol addicts exhibit higher scores of self-deception. Martínez-González JM, Vilar López R, Becoña Iglesias E, Verdejo-García A. Self-deception as a mechanism for the maintenance of drug addiction. Psicothema. 2016; 28(1): 13-9.

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box - Goodreads

The explanation of deception and self-deception as innate characteristics is perhaps true, but there are many other explanations for this pattern of behavior. It is possible that the ability to self-deceive is not innate, but a learned trait, acquired through experience. For example, a person could have been caught being deceitful by revealing their knowledge of information they were trying to hide. Their nostrils flared, indicating that they were lying to the other person, and thus did not get what they wanted. Next time, to better achieve success, the person will more actively deceive himself of having knowledge to better hide the signs of deception. Therefore, people could have the capacity to learn self-deception. However, simply because something is learned does not mean that it is not innate; what is learned and what is innate work in conjunction. [12] This is outlined in many introductory textbooks in evolutionary psychology. [12] For example, preparedness occurs in learning to explain why some behaviours are more easily learned than others. Evolutionary psychologists argue that there are learning mechanisms that allow learning to occur. [12] Medicine [ edit ] Planning fallacy: our tendency to underestimate the time, costs, and risks of future actions and to overestimate their benefits. You might be self-deceived if you have a mistrustful relationship with your employees or are burned out from work. Interestingly, there’s a book that can teach us how to solve this problem. In fact, it’s been around for over 20 years! It’s called Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box by The Arbinger Institute and will show you why you’re wrong about others and how to become your best self by improving the way you see them and yourself. Self-deception creates internal vicious cycles. When you are self-deceived, you seek even more self-justification which leads to further self-deception.

When participants recalled a time that they behaved inauthentically, rather than authentically, they felt more impure and less moral…. When people behave in ways that are inconsistent with their own sense of self, they feel morally tainted and engage in behaviors to compensate for these feelings.” Trivers, R. L.; Newton, H. P. (November 1982). "The crash of Flight 90: Doomed by self-deception?" (PDF). Science Digest. Vol.90, no.11. pp.66–67, 111. I love this book. It identifies the central issue in all organizational performance. Like truth itself, this book reveals more with each re-examination. I highly recommend it.” —Doug Hauth, Business Development Manager, Convio, Inc.