Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be my happily ever after

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I hid the truth from friends and family for about 4 months (just the emotional abuse/gaslighting, and the constant abandonment.) When his truth about cheating finally came forth, I did NOT hesitate in telling anyone who asked. My husband was a narcissist. Lots of people loved and admired him, and he had them all eating out of the palm of his hand. It was a triumphant moment getting to finally rip the wool off from peoples eyes so that they could finally see who he’d been all along. The reason I didn’t tell my family about the abuse right away was definitely because I was embarrassed, and I felt that I could truly fix it on my own. How could someone who’d known me for 10 years all of a sudden not love me anymore? I refused to believe it, and kept pursuing the marriage, and compromised all my integrity – and in turn, I gave him full control over our marriage (unknowingly.) Like a best mate in a book to guide you through hell – and out the other side via belly laughs, firefighters and finding joy in a new way of living” ― Helen Russell. Did you ever have doubts about getting a divorce based on other factors outside of the relationship itself (such as financial struggles, children /pets involved) and how it would affect your lifestyle? But in Get Divorced Be Happy, Helen Thorn makes the argument for enjoying every aspect of single motherhood. There’s no one else to answer to, no one to consider aside from the kids and suddenly plenty of free time again. Time to reconnect with old friends, meet new ones, and consider your own needs. I felt alone in my marriage. My ex was controlling and I often felt browbeaten into doing things I didn’t want to. He was also very prescriptive of how I should look and dress etc. Eventually, I went to 18 months of couple counselling to try to save my marriage (I had two young kids) but it wasn’t enough.

Get Divorced, Be Happy by Helen Thorn | Waterstones Get Divorced, Be Happy by Helen Thorn | Waterstones

When did you realise your marriage wasn’t going to work, was there a catalyst that led to the divorce?

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What do you do when your relationship suddenly ends? How do you cope when the cosy 'coupley' future you had planned disappears?

Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned - WHSmith

Lots of things resulted in it but the moment I realised it was over was when we moved into our house and he kept accusing me of having affairs, phoning me when I was at work events and ruining the nights with it, then there was the fact he didn’t want to come with me to see family or be bothered with them. My story is I met my ex-husband when I was 18, he was my sister’s boyfriend’s dad, and I liked the attention I was getting, plus I like older men and he was double my age. He was good to me and I soon moved in with him, next thing I know we are getting married the year I turned 20. Everything was great until we lost our jobs, I managed to find one but he couldn’t and got depressed. He got offered a job in his home county, so at the age of 23 I moved for him to be able to work, I left all my friends and family behind for a fresh start. I worked in a few jobs and did crazy hours and we lived in a house share until we found a house to rent, then I got a full-time job, which I loved. To trust your gut and do what is right for you. You can’t live your life being unhappy just to please everyone else around you. At the same time, I know some people choose to work on relationships and they happily stay together. For me, I now know this was what was right for me.The fact we weren’t right for each other didn’t emerge straight away because we had a long-distance courtship and marriage, but the more time we spent in the same city the less we had to talk about. He was a kind, supportive man but not an observant or reflective one. I knew I would grow impatient with him, so I left. (Yes, I gave another explanation.) I’m 25 years old (26 in a few weeks) and I’m from Estonia.I was married to a guy from Syria for 3.5 years. I got married one day before my 22nd birthday. Got divorced at 25. I’ll try to explain our story as shortly as possible. I could keep talking about this for hours, probably could even write a book! What’s different about dating after divorce, how have you found navigating that world as a divorcee? Helen describes how she spoke to her two children about getting divorced. Although they didn’t need to know the details, Helen felt it was necessary not to sugarcoat the situation and decided to be honest. Although challenging, the now ex-couple co-parent positively, and Helen senses she has a fantastic new formed, tighter relationship with her children.