Calm Parents, Happy Kids: The Secrets of Stress-free Parenting

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We personally use many ideas from this book, and they really work! In these notes, we’ll share our favourite big ideas, but definitely grab the book for more (especially if you are a new parent). This idea is deeply rooted in the well-researched attachment parenting theory. In a nutshell, research shows that when children feel connected to us, they behave better, have higher self-esteem, feel more confident and less stressed, and are more resilient. These are all the necessary factors for optimal development. Toddlers don’t enjoy tantrums, their brains are not developed enough to maintain rational control when emotions are high (103) I dunno, it's entirely possible that Section 3 has awesome advice too, but I just can't bring myself to read on. This book guilted me hard (hard enough to make me cry, actually) for not being maternally loving enough to conjure more than 24 hours out of every day, or for sometimes wanting to talk to my husband after six hours alone with the kids. If your child wants to do something that he isn’t usually allowed to do, have a think if there is any way to do it safely since you are there to help him,

Your acceptance of his emotions teaches your child that his emotional life is not dangerous, is not shameful, and in fact is universal and manageable.” (113) As any parent of more than one child knows, it’s challenging for even the most engaged parent to maintain a peaceful home when competition, irritation and tempers run high. Parent consciously. That means pay attention to your “triggers” – what your child does that makes you feel angry and frustrated? That will be a red flag that there is an unresolved issue from your childhood. (For example, a messy home is a big trigger for me!) Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids might seem like a lengthy book at first glance but it is divided into three sections which makes it much easier to digest. Each section is broken down further into pointed topics which are designed to help you master peaceful parenting. The division of topics is perfect, giving the reader the opportunity to let the research, the advice, and the real-life application techniques a chance to soak in.It's based on the latest research on brain development and clinical experience with parents, rather than opinion. So how can I recommend this book? Why give it 5 stars? Because it's an honest, well-written, compassionate roadmap for a relatively new way of raising our kids. And it works. Frankly, I think this book should be offered to new parents in delivery rooms. Use your inner pause button. To break the cycle, we need to stop for a moment and remind ourselves what would happen if we react in a usual way. I have been using Dr. Markham's techniques to calm myself & my often strong willed child. Growing up with parents that more often than not, yelled, spanked, threatened & used consequences to get me to behave still has left scars on me. This is not how I wanted to parent my child. Fear works to make a child obey, that's exactly how I was, obedient & yes I turned out "ok" but was always scared of my parents growing up & were the last people I confided in with my problems.

We both have a long way to go but this book is & has changed my way I parent. I've never believed in time outs or spanking to begin with but needed better tools to guide my son. Finally, the one big area I disagreed with this book was sleep training. Our ped recommended this book but also gave different instructions for sleep training :)When it’s your turn to decide what to do, initiate games that build emotional intelligence and bonding (e.g. wrestle, pillow-fight, “bumbling monster”, role-play with stuffed animals, etc.), What makes a child independent? Roots and wings. Independence is rooted in secure attachment – knowing that Mum and Dad are there when needed. Once children know we’re available if they want us, they can focus on their appropriate developmental tasks, which include becoming more independent in handling their responsibilities.” I also feel like the author focuses on minutiae to an absurd degree. She claims that if you tell your daughter she's a good girl for working hard, she's going to believe she's only good when she's working hard, and this will lead to an unfulfilling life as a workaholic. (No, I'm not kidding or exaggerating.) One thing to remember is that there are no perfect parents. The whole point is to pay attention, pause before you act and manage your own stress. This is the way to GROWTH.