The Joy of Being Selfish: Why you need boundaries and how to set them

Product Information

Aspects really resonated with me. I have constant urning to feel liked so have often done or said things I didn’t really want to do to please others to the detrimental effect on myself but on the flip side there were elements I found myself cringing at or shaking my head as it just felt too “dramatic” for me. BUT that’s the point isn’t it? What is too much for me might not be for others which is why boundaries are there. The majority of advice in this book seems directed towards a female audience of people who have never had any boundaries, and wouldn't know where to start with getting them. However, if you take this book to its conclusion, you risk becoming uncompromisingly demanding and a trifle over-sensitive -- so, if slowly pushing people away is your bag, then go ahead and alienate yourself. has been challenging in so many ways but one opportunity has arisen out of all the chaos, grief and misery. It has given us time to pause and prioritise ourselves more. It has given us the chance to be more selfish. Selfish is often seen as a negative word but 2020 has been the year that has turned boundaries from an extra perk that only the most self-aware benefit from to an essential life skill that we must all have to survive.

When was the last time you said “no” to something you didn’t want to do or decline an invite from a person you didn’t want to see? Look, I get it that you've been a pushover in the past, and yes it may be useful to work on how you deal with people and become a bit more selective -- but in the words of John Donne, 'No Man is an Island' [or woman] and as such it isn't all about you or how your self-absorbed feelings have been hurt.From New York Times bestselling author Elin Hilderbrand, comes a novel about the many ways family can fill our lives with love...if they don't kill us first. According to Michelle, setting some basic boundaries for time management and friendships is a good way to start. In fact, boundaries are more important than ever if you’re working from home and need to re-set your work/life balance. Whilst the information in this book is interesting. Michelle is missing a little age (which will come to her) and another fundamental part - CHILDREN. An honest and authentic piece of writing on the nuances of dating, romance and relationships - even the relationship we have with ourselves. I love that Michelle is able to empathetically hold the reader accountable whilst understanding the complexities of modern dating. Interesting, witty, informative and empowering.”

What’s up with the title, The Joy of Being Selfish? Well…sometimes you need to just say no. For your own mental health. If you never get any me time because you are constantly fulfilling the needs of others, this is a book you MUST read. How often have you heard of a mother being called selfish for prioritising her own dreams above her family. We are told that being selfless is the best thing you can be, but I completely disagree with that.’ Elman tried an experiment she called her “Year of No.” She decided to say “no” to anything she didn’t want to do — without having to give a reason. Sample answers to invitations included “I thought about it and it’s a no from me” or “Unfortunately, I can’t make it work.” It felt awkward and clumsy at first, but towards the end of the year, it became second nature and she’s still following the rule today. MORE : As a trans dad, I took pregnancy in my stride – but my mental health deteriorated after the birth of my child I found this book incredibly helpful. It has called me out on my behaviour - I am very much a pushover - and provided me with the tools I need to change that.

In our society, people equate being ‘selfish’ with being arrogant or unhelpful. But, as a reformed people-pleaser, I realised a while ago that putting others’ needs above my own all of the time left me with very little energy to take care of myself. For me, learning to be more ‘selfish’ was about understanding I didn’t have to be a martyr to be a good partner, colleague or friend. Selfishness is about seeing the intrinsic value of your worth and your time, and about creating healthy boundaries to preserve that. It’s the practical side of ‘self-care’ - a concept we’re all far more comfortable with.” Beware the myths about boundaries