The Charisma Myth: How to Engage, Influence and Motivate People

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You become charismatic by giving 100% focus to another person. No fidgeting with hands. No cell phone. No looking around. 100% focus on them. When you meet a charismatic person, you get the impression that they have a lot of power and they like you a lot. Ask for their confidentiality. Not only will this make you feel safer, it will make people treasure the moment. People love secrets. After reading it, I can’t say it blew me out of the world, but I did pull what value I could from it. Below are key points in The Charisma Myth . From a base of thorough behavioral science, Olivia extracts the most practical tools for business; giving her clients techniques she originally developed for Harvard and MIT. Her course at Berkeley's Business School was so popular that university staff had to guard the entrance to ensure that only admitted students gained entrance.

Drop intonation. You know how a voice rises at the end of a question? Just reread the last sentence and hear your voice go up at the end. Now imagine an assertion: a judge saying “This case is closed.” Feel how the intonation of the word closed drops. Lowering the intonation of your voice at the end of a sentence broadcasts power. When you want to sound super-confident, you can even lower your intonation mid-sentence. b) visionary charisma - the capability to describe a grand vision for the future and galvanize people to work toward the fruition of that visioniii) You can amplify the feelings with motivational music, success phrases/axioms or use movements associated with confidence (e.g. punching your hand in the air). In The Charisma Myth, Olivia Fox Cabane makes a compelling argument that charisma is the product of a certain mindset and behaviors which are both attainable and trainable. The book proves effective with its list of quotes, anecdotes, thought-provoking theories and logical explanations.

In the chapter “The Charismatic Behaviors” you’ll learn that there are three keys to being charismatic: you need to be present in the moment when engaging with others; you need to give off warmth by implying goodwill toward others; and you need to appear powerful by coming across as someone capable of affecting the world around you. Strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. When you’re standing or sitting near someone, see if there’s something they’re looking at that could give you something with which to start the conversation.Let’s say you’re in a coffee shop waiting in line. You could make any small comment about the pastries, and follow with an open- ended question (one that cannot be answered with a yes or no). Say something like: “I’m trying to decide which is most sinful: the muffin, the brownie, or the coffee cake. How would you rank them?” Goodwill is a highly effective way both to project warmth and to create a feeling of warmth in others. When you truly focus on someone’s well-being, you feel more connected to them, it shows across your face, and people perceive you as someone full of warmth. Your charisma quotient soars. When our only aim is to broadcast goodwill, it takes the pressure off. We’re no longer striving, struggling, pushing for things to go in a certain direction. And since we’re less concerned about how the interaction goes, we can both feel and project more charismatic confidence. The secret isn't that complicated. You have to truly believe in yourself. When you are able to build a system of self-confidence and resiliency to against detractors that bring you down, your body takes on that mentality. While that sounds obvious and crazy difficult, this book has a number of concrete reframes and exercises you can use to walk that path. The kindness charisma makes you feel accepted. The Dalai Lama is the utmost example of it. Finally, the authority charisma makes people believe that you can change their lives. Bill Gates is a good example of it. Three Techniques to Fight Discomfort: Dedramatize, Destigmatize, and NeutralizeSo how can you develop the three traits? Eliminate distractions, use power posing and bring on gratitude, goodwill, and compassion. This mindset (stigmatising discomfort) is one of the main reasons that negative thoughts, emotions, and internal experiences are difficult to handle; we feel they shouldn't be happening. So not only do we feel bad, we then feel bad about feeling bad. Speak slowly. Visualize the contrast between a nervous, squeaky teenager speaking at high speed and the slow, emphatic tone of a judge delivering a verdict.

After dining with Mr. Gladstone,” she wrote, “I thought he was the cleverest person in England. But after dining with Mr. Disraeli,” she added, “I thought I was the cleverest person in England.” Key Lessons from “The Charisma Myth PDF” However, don’t make the mistake that everyone is charismatic in the same manner. On the contrary – everyone has his or her distinct charismatic persona. Cabane distinguishes between four types of charisma. Focus - They can can feel the intensity of your attention, how keenly you listens and absorbs everything they say. Nonverbal body language makes them feel completely listened to, understood, and respected. Use when you need people to open up and share information. Avoid when you need to appear authoritative or during emergencies when you need immediate compliance.Modulate tone - Making your voice vary in any of the following ways: pitch (high or low), volume (loud or quiet), tone (resonant or hollow), tempo (fast or slow), or rhythm (fluid or staccato). The lower, more resonant, and more baritone your voice, the more impact it will have. A slow, measured tempo with frequent pauses conveys confidence.