If I Can't Have You: A Compulsive, Darkly Funny Story of Heartbreak and Obsession

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This psychological thriller is written as a fascinating and detailed letter, from Constance to Samuel, and SO hard to put down. The story is a mixture of “Fatal Attraction” and “Gone Girl” and works perfectly. I couldn’t help but root for “Team Constance”, even if she was a bit psycho. The more I read about her, the more I sympathized with her and tried to understand her actions. Thank you to Pigeonhole, Charlotte Levin and Pan McMillan for this free digital ARC, in exchange for my honest opinion!

Susan, Josh and the boys are missing. We don't know where they are. They haven't been seen since church. After being trapped by the police in his driveway, Josh followed Detective Maxwell to the West Valley City Police Department to tell his story once more. The police wanted Charlie and Braden to come to the station, too. Kiirsi then phoned the Relief Society president—the head of their ward's women's group—and the two of them joined Jennifer at the Powell house and talked to the police.

Having been through a recent trauma, Constance is a broken thing. So when Samuel is nice to her, she is drawn right in. Her initial attraction to him then tips into obsession and the tension mounts as her behaviour becomes more and more outlandish. Living in a dank bedsit, her only friend appears to be Dale, but the question is does he have some ulterior motive for looking after Constance so diligently? I’m writing this review just before I start the book, why would I want to do this ? One important factor that I feel is sadly forgotten in so many true crime books by so many authors ... not everyone knows the facts ! On the surface, Samuel is handsome and educated and he’s a doctor too so he must be kind, right? Wrong. He is wilfully blind, making false promises to women, pretending that he wants a relationship with them even though all he wants is casual sex. When those women call him out on his behaviour, he dismisses them as ‘nutters’. Josh finally signed a consent form authorizing a search of his van. In the vehicle they found the electric generator, blankets, a gas can, tarps, and a shovel. They also recovered a circular saw, a humidifier, at least two knives, a tripod, a newly opened box of latex gloves, and a rake, but did not disclose the existence of those items for more than three years. I know some of these cases may be well known over in the States, but not for everyone else, myself included, so I really dislike part way through a book when an author feels the need to tell bits of the ‘story’ before they should be told, and I’ve always meant to give a grumpy review on it.

If I Can’t Have You is Charlotte Levin’s superb debut novel and is part thriller and part human interest story which is a smart and heart-breaking read. It poses the question: how far would you be willing to go for the one you love? It is a dark character driven story, told from Constance's point of view. We see the world as she sees it. It is uncomfortable to read in parts, but that is the charm of it. It is raw and real. There are some wonderful supporting characters that you will fall in love with - clearly not Samuel! One thing it does have in common with others of its purported genre is its readability. There is a creepy compulsiveness to the story, a sense from the start that things are going to go tits up. You just don’t know how and when. In this sense it shares something in common with Harriet Lane’s Alys Always which also features a woman insinuating herself into the lives of others. What makes this protagonist’s journey so seductive, however, is both its plausibility and its possibility. We might like to believe that Constance Little is none of us, but in reality she is all of us, for who can tell what lies around the corner of our lives, what particular synergy of experiences, or accidents of birth will presage the perfect storm towards tragedy? By the time Debbie was at the Powells' front door Monday morning, she had already called Susan on her cell phone. When there was no answer, she tried Susan's work phone at Wells Fargo Investments and, finally, their home landline. Josh paused a beat. "She's at work." He went on to stammer out that he and the boys had gone camping overnight without Susan.Then Josh had decided to take the boys camping. Susan didn't want to go. He'd "gotten a late start" and left after midnight. Despite the warnings of cold, snow, and ice, Josh said he, Charlie, and Braden had gone to Simpson Springs, about two hours southwest of Salt Lake City, elevation 5,100 feet. They had slept in the car, tried out a new electric generator for heat, and taken firewood with them so they could make s'mores. They made them, but without the chocolate. He'd forgotten that ingredient. Cons: ending was maybe a tad too controversial for me, too long, could be a bit slow in some places Sitting at home all summer wasn't ideal in a home not really set up for little ones - a household with an uncle on meds, a caregiver aunt who'd been thrust into the role without any training, and a grandfather who was obsessed with pornography. What I did love about Constance was her wit pipped at the post only by a lesser character, Edward, who provided the balance and sanity and light relief much needed in this tale of obsession, loneliness, fear and hope. A well deserved 5 stars. Congratulations to the author.