What Women Want: Conversations on Desire, Power, Love and Growth

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It's frustrating. Whelan's got some good ideas, many of them unfashionable and unpalatable in the context of contemporary feminist discourse, and I admire her directness in expressing them (more sensibly here than in her inflammatory articles). When she talks about what she thinks feminists should be focusing on, her ideas are perfectly sound: easier access to abortion, decriminalisation of sex work, state childcare; policies that help disadvantaged and marginalised women rather than making things cosier for the already well-educated and well-off. But What Women Want feels like it would have been infinitely better as a short essay. In trying to expand her arguments, Whelan only manages to expose the flaws in them. Having sought the approval of each of her disguised clients, she wrote a chapter on each, written in intimate, compassionate, narrative non-fiction. There is nothing clinical in the writing style, yet Chung weaves her professional opinions and considerations through the narrative, allowing us a glimpse into the tenets of psychotherapy and the pathways to healing. Thematisch sollte man sich daher auf Selbstmord, Selbstmordgedanken, Bloßstellung, Trauma, Lieblingskinder, Geschwisterbevorzugung und -neid, fehlende Liebe der Eltern, Bindungsangst, unerfüllter Kinderwunsch, Essstörungen, Rassismus, Abhängigkeit, Paranoia und Psychosen vorbereiten. Expressions of helplessness are attractive in women as it highlights vulnerability (feminine) and youthfulness (reproductive value) When assessing a mating market, pay attention to the quality of men who are your rivals as well as the women present there. You're not being measured against all men on Earth, just those you're in relative proximity to.

There is nothing wrong with the understanding that women are on average more valuable than average men. Most of you guys are solid dudes. You’re just suffering for the actions of the highly nonrandom sample of guys who hit on every woman in sight. That’s why it’s so important to understand the world from a woman’s perspective...Cops spend 90 percent of their time dealing with the scummiest 5 percent of humanity. The ones who’ve been around a while often develop a cynical, negative, and fatalistic view of humans, based on the totality of their bitter experiences. Likewise, women spend a big proportion of their time in the mating market avoiding the small percentage of guys who are the most intrusive, obnoxious, or insane." I don’t buy into W. Anton’s first part of the sentence though. Indeed, he stresses and repeats that confidence is about appearing to be certain.As I read about your comments how you called him a low quality man because most men make the mistake of needing status to attract women, I KNEW right away you had no idea what you were talking about. As a man, it is impossible to be better at mating until you understand the subjective experience of a woman, because it is fundamentally different than yours in many ways...Some of the same male traits that frighten you the most also seem to be the most attractive to you. The guys who pose the greatest physical threat are also the same

Anton also says that it’s ideal if a woman has not looked at you before your approach. Terribly wrong. Read how to approach a woman for the full science of approaching. Social proof is not superficial. For hypersocial animals like us, it’s about as deep a signal of personal value as anything gets. Remember, you are a male stranger. You represent a danger to her, and the collective opinion of your social network gives a woman a huge amount of information about your traits, strengths, virtues, and social skills that she would otherwise find out only by taking the risks of getting to know you—a male stranger...Your social proof is really just the answer to one key question: does this guy add value to people’s lives?" To be an “effective male” and thus attractive, you need to demonstrate the traits that make you effective at life, and to demonstrate the ability to use those traits to provide for a woman what she needs for reproductive success. Topics covered: Same sex desire, love, motherhood, suicide, mother child relationships, father daughter relationships, abuse, love at an old age, among others.

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The breakdown in mating strategies - Short-term/medium-term/long-term. I mansplained this to a girl I was seeing and she felt compelled to read the book, although it is geared towards men. Women generally don't reject men explicitly because of the very real risks they face from publicly humiliating their suitors. They're just trying to reduce the risk of provoking harassment or stalking or violent retaliation. I am glad they recognised that "Taekwondo is as effective as basketball moves in a real fight" (p 157). No relevance, I just agree with the observation. Men and women will make decisions collectively. Women will be allowed to think. Girls will be taught to read and write. The schoolhouse must display a map of the world so that we can begin to understand our place in it. A new religion, extrapolated from the old but focused on love, will be created by the women of Molotshcna. Unfortunately, I found this longer but not more elucidating. She supports many of her arguments on an incomplete portrait of the situation (cf. the wage gap) or an almost comical exaggeration of recent laws.

I could go on and on about how you used your rationalizations and excuses to not open your mind to a new way of thinking to get results, but this country is a democracy. You have a right to disagree. Be clear of what you want, make sure you're in the right place, get your shit together (health and basic wealth) and make sure you display the right signals. A very fun, funny, and potentially useful book for many [young] men to read, but of very mixed quality. And that’s why men chase women, buy them gifts, and generally treat them like a hot and rare commodity.If you want to be good with women, the author says, you need to ditch that mindset that women are more valuable and put yourself first instead. I realize that I'm female, and thus not the target audience for this book. But wow, if you follow the advice in here, you will get laid. I really want to buy this book for a couple of clueless male friends who complain often about dating, but they'd probably be insulted. Make dinner instead of reservations; hike in the hills instead of flying to the mountains; write your own Valentine’s Day poem instead of buying some trite Hallmark card...The best way to be happy and attractive is to spend your money on new experiences, not new things. This is one of the most surprising results from the last two decades of happiness research." The book is well written, and shares stories of seven different women who all have been in psychotherapy with Maxine Mei-Fung Chung for shorter or longer times. It gives a good description of the interaction between the women seeking help and the professional and how the sessions help them to develop as persons, and in some cases reclaim their own personalities. There is plenty of detail and I liked how Maxine Mei-Fung Chung guides the clients through the sessions with tender probing and open questions.

And finally, there are some men who never had problems getting girls, and that’s why they are free to also focus on other areas of life. PROS Also, I very much appreciated the section on ethics and honesty in dating. On behalf of women everywhere, thanks so much for encouraging men to clarify their dating ethics and be stand-up guys! Really good stuff and spot on.

How thought provoking and true… Ella really hit the preverbal nail on the head. I couldn’t agree more.