The Cold Vanish: Seeking the Missing in North America's Wildlands

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Interesting listen, but I don't think it's for a lot of people. I'm not sure if it took so long to complete as potentially I didn't want to know what other theory or outcome was around the corner. Maybe it's listening to a story about a people we don't know except from the memories of others. It’s a haunting, unsettling book, but at least some families were able to find those elusive answers and are now able to move forward, and hopefully find peace. You know the drill. You pay the entrance fee, grab a map, register for any special permits. Nobody hands you a missing persons flyer for the elderly man who vanished off a heavily traveled trail yesterday. The park rangers don't ask you to look out for the twenty-something redhead who went for a run two weeks ago and never returned. That would be bad for tourism, of course. Then there are the psychics who offer their services, and myriad wild theories explaining why someone vanished – “Hell’s Angels. Aliens from space. Russian mafia. Portals to other dimensions. Aliens from the hollow earth. String theory. Satanic cults.” It is clear that some of the missing, young men especially, have chosen, if not to disappear, then to find a form of spiritual development that requires that they absent themselves from the populated world for a time. Other people simply get turned around in the woods, or are ambushed by conditions they weren't prepared for, or are, possibly, the victims of foul play.

The primary focus of this book is the story of Jacob Gray, who disappeared in Olympic National Park and the sheer determination of his father to find out what happened to his son. Highway of Tears: A True Story of Racism, Indifference and the Pursuit of Justice for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls by Jessica McDiarmid It boggles the mind how many people are reported missing on any given day. The stories behind each one is tragic and frustrating. A driver reports the bike, which is loaded with gear, the National Park Service conducts a brief search revealing nothing and concludes Jacob may have accidentally slipped into the river flowing with April snowmelt and drowned. Billman describes the initial search as rather cursory and hampered by bureaucracy.I'm obsessed with missing person stories.Television shows, podcasts, youtube videos....I'm not exactly sure what attracts me to tales of the disappeared, but I listen to many of them. I think it might be that I can't imagine never knowing....having someone close to me disappear and the idea of how shattering it would be to never know where they are and what happened. Even when remains are found, the whole story is rarely revealed. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose someone like that....a friend, a parent....a child. Lots of interwoven examples, stats and theories. From hyperthermia to big foot to Jerusalem syndrome, everything is examined. Do these people want to be found or have they met a foul end? Bleak notes of mental illness and the significantly higher rate of indigenous disappearances. Bigger questions are asked such as: if this is the amount of missing in the wilderness, what about the rest of the populous in general; or, why are most people found in areas close to where they went missing that have been scoured numerous times? The author's personal involvement makes this tale all the more affecting. Billman shows himself to be just as adept at nonfiction as at fiction." - Publishers Weekly (starred review) Sophocles’ story about a sister who buries her brother against a state decree has an enduring legacy, particularly in Latin America where the unburied body of a brother and a sister sent out of the world still living seems an apt metaphor for the disappeared in the wake of state violence. Antígona is a verse play written by the Peruvian poet Watanabe in collaboration with Grupo Cultural Yuyachkani and Teresa Ralli in the aftermath of two decades of civil conflict. Ralli interviewed families of the disappeared and was the first to perform the play. The narrator remains unnamed until the end when she symbolically tries to bury her brother: “And these late libations are from my little spirit full with remorse.” It is Ismene, sister of Antigone and Polynices, who has survived. Antígona powerfully resists the efforts of the state narrative to efface Peru’s disappeared and serves as a vehicle for those left behind to forgive themselves.

Now, I could handle the author mentioning these Bigfoot researchers and conspiracy theorists once or twice— but when the author begins to entertain these ideas a something that he believes in and could be an explanation for the ‘vanishings’ of these missing persons, that was when I had enough and felt like I was wasting my time. This "false" book claimed that Jacob had no friends and his mother was worried. He had friends. He had many friends in Washington. First off, he was close with his family in Washington. Every weekend we would go on a fun hiking adventure or he would take his youngest cousin camping. Nearly every night, we had movie nights or he would head over to his nonrelative best friend's place and play pool. Him and I would go out and grab frozen yogurt, watch sunsets, and talk about life. Whenever I was stressed about school, he immediately recognized my anxieties and would encourage me. I did the same for him. He was my best friend. Billman couldn’t even get the relationships correct in this book. He claimed the sister of the wife of his uncle was Jacob’s cousin. He also claimed the grandma of his uncle was his uncle’s mother-in-law. And these are just a few examples of how wrong he got the people involved. Also he didn’t live NEAR his aunt and uncle, he lived WITH them and later moved out for a while to an apartment when he had the money. How can you call this non-fiction or researched when you can’t even get the most basic information correct?The concept of “lost person behavior” could fill its own book. And does. You can read up on it elsewhere. Or get a ten dollar app. For example, people who want to be found tend to go downhill. People who don’t want to be found, go up.

The story of Randy’s search stretches through the book with Billman inserting stories of other vanishings between episodes of Randy’s efforts. He joins Randy to describe first-hand many of his searches. The only thing rangers could do now was photograph the scene, inventory what was found, and notify the family using a list of phone numbers found among Jacob’s things. As a search-and-rescue volunteer in Oregon and Washington specializing in mountain rescue, I was always called to search for, rescue, or retrieve lost, injured, or deceased hikers and climbers. Never did we get involved in a vanishing, though I was touched later by this phenomenon when one of my students inexplicably disappeared on Mount Baker in the North Cascades and was never found. Except in this instance, the cases were solved one way or the other. I found this book interesting because of the mystery and diversity of unexplained disappearances and the range of responses to them. I had no idea of the number and diversity of these cases. Billman is not a dispassionate student of unexplained vanishings, and he is drawn deeply into the case of Jacob Gray.There's other cases mentioned throughout the book, but Jacob's - arguably more his family's - is where the focus lies. It's harrowing. It's clear the author's closeness to the family wasn't manufactured for the purpose of securing the story, because he's managed to write into this book the exhaustion, despair, and, yes, the hope of those left behind. He got a job at a retirement home while also attending college for a future in the medical field. The residents of the retirement home loved him. I had also worked there and the residents always spoke fondly of him. Almost the entire home was distraught when he disappeared and they consistently asked if there were new findings. Jacob always joked with the residents and took the time to genuinely get to know them. He would take time to sit and listen to their stories for times on end which was not even a requirement for his job as a dishwasher. This isn’t something every young person is inclined to. This was simply because Jacob was a genuine person who truly cared for the people around him. He’s always been kind, considerate, and silly (fart jokes being a particular favorite of his). Even near the end when he was clearly struggling, he never had a mean bone in his body. His portrayal of Jacob was not at all how he was. Jacob was bright and friendly, a light in many people’s lives including mine. Billman claims Jacob was already showing signs when he moved up to Washington which is completely wrong. When Jacob moved up here, he was close with his cousins and made many friends who all loved him. Jacob moved up here not due to mental illness or “his parents not being able to handle him,” but because he didn’t like his options in California. He was healthy and went on hikes and camped all the time, even taking his little cousin on them. They say it's hard to get lost in the modern world. Not when it comes to national forests and parks in the U.S. and Canada. In these vast and beautiful spaces, disappearing forever is easy.

Two months before his disappearance, he started showing signs of mental illness. His family tried to help him and did everything we could, but American Systems in mental/medical health care, law enforcement, and even park protocol are not in place to help families. All of these systems caused a huge hindrance in getting Jacob help or finding Jacob. It was eye-opening for the family. Heard about people go missing in the wild? Probably, but did you know there’s really no real record kept? Billman’s The Cold Vanish book explores this! Lastly and probably one of my biggest issues with this so I will bring it up again. Billman did not get permission by the people he included in the book. He used full names, locations, and personal anecdotes that they were not informed he would use. It’s even more upsetting as he would make up information about them too. The most simple request I would like to make is that if you MUST continue to print this book, just remove the names and locations. I’m sure everyone would be much more comfortable and wouldn’t care about the lies as much if their names weren’t connected to such misinformation. Billman should’ve just taken inspiration and write a FICTION book if he wanted to use Jacob’s story so badly.

For readers of Jon Krakauer and Douglas Preston, the critically acclaimed author and journalist Jon Billman's fascinating, in-depth look at people who vanish in the wilderness without a trace and those eccentric, determined characters who try to find them. stars. I would’ve continued if the conspiracy theories were kept to a minimum and not suggested as an explanation for the disappearance of missing persons. Interspersed throughout are shorter stories of other missing persons who vanished in a wilderness location- highlighting once again the sheer volume of people who vanish, seemingly into thin air, and for those who do eventually get answers, it’s seldom a happy ending. At the same time, Billman weaves in smaller stories and anecdotes throughout about countless missing people and the people who search for them.