Shrek the Musical Jr. Actor's Script

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The mascot screams at the sight of Shrek and begins running through the roped path to get to the front gate)

Lord Farquaad: Ugh! I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll...(he grabs one of Gingy's gumdrop buttons) Donkey: You are mean to me! You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. Look here, ogre, I m gonna spell it out for ya. You re the only one tough enough to stand up to that no-good flim-flammer Farquaad. Magic Mirror: So, will it be: bachelorette number 1, bachelorette number 2, or bachelorette number 3?The successful candidate will be required to work from our newly refurbished office in London at 12-14 Mortimer Street, W1T 3JJ. Lord Farquaad: Princess...Fiona...she's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go... Hidden in the shadows of the cave, Fiona's eyes were sympathetic. She closes the door. Donkey stares silently at Shrek for a moment and then sits down beside him) An image of Cinderella doing housework flips to a portrait of Cinderella in her ball gown putting on the glass slipper. Lord Farquaad looks at her approvingly and the Captain claps) Fiona: My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be.

The Mirror reluctantly rewinds and begins to play again from the beginning, displaying the image of Fiona waiting in her tower) The guests party and dance as Donkey takes over singing The Monkees song. Shrek and Fiona ride away in their carriage. Cut to a storybook that reads "And they lived ugly ever after...THE END". Donkey: Well, yeah! Well was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now-- Fiona screams as Shrek suddenly smashes the door down with his shoulder, still holding onto her arm. He rushes down the tower's staircase with Fiona in tow and grabs a torch) Magic Mirror: Bachelorette number 2 is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.Donkey: Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until -- Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. Donkey: I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? He gestures at the skeleton of a knight laying against the wall, a charred outline of a man burned into the stone behind it) High in her tower, Young Fiona dreams of being rescued by a handsome prince and living the idyllic fairy tale dream ("I Know It's Today"). The years pass, and Fiona grows more anxious day after day, nervous that the stories she's read have misled her. Despite her frustrations, she remains hopeful.