Say Her Name

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La prosa es una prosa limpia, cuidada, muy mesurada incluso en aquellos momentos donde muchos nos hubiéramos quebrado o hubiéramos brincado al más ramplón sentimentalismo, Goldman escribe con pies de plomo y una mente despejada, escribe sobrio donde muchos sucumbiríamos a la embriaguez más inmediata. Desde hace unos dias estaba buscando un libro diferente, no me apetecia leer nada de los generos que suelo leer, y Say Her Name fue justo la opcion perfecta. The best part about this book was the humour throughout. Bobbie is quite a cynical, wry character and I loved her observations. They were a bit of relief from the whole going-to-die theme. And they stopped it being too much.

The author, Francisco Goldman, lost his wife and soul mate tragically at the age of 30. Francisco was much older and madly in love – maybe even somewhat obsessed. This book has been described by Colm Toibin as “A beautiful love story and an extraordinary story of loss.” It is that, but also more – and the “more” sometimes seems downright creepy. Everyone mourns differently, and for some the mourning period lasts longer than for others. But Goldman’s novel (yes, it is his story “novelized” – not sure where his reality begins and ends) makes us believe that he will mourn for the rest of his life. He dwells on the small aspects of loss that become meaningful to the survivor – like the indentations her fingers made in her face cream or visits to places that she enjoyed. These small details are described and fawned over so that Francisco never has to “let her go”, never has to allow her to escape from his memory. “Descending into memory like Orpheus to bring Aura out alive for a moment, that’s the desperate purpose of all these futile little rites and reenactments.” Eva’s husband (like I don’t even remember his name, that’s how vaguely his character was placed) is a whiny baby who lies and then drops his wife the second things get hard, like a little b*€#. ALL THE STARS and MORE! Say Her Name! I wonder if many of you actually could say the name of one POC who has gone missing in your area in the last year. Just one. Say Her Name. I can name three white girls who have repeated made the new in Indianapolis over the last decade because I see their very pretty innocent faces in the news all of the time. I assume there are no POC who go missing here. Right? WRONG! They do. Everywhere. But newspapers and news stations don't show you those people unless they are part of the "rich and famous. THAT is what this book is about.The plotline itself was a little up and down though. I didn't think that the beginning was very strong, though that may have been my skepticism tainting my judgement a little. By the middle of the book, however, I was thoroughly enthralled and eager to read more. The mystery grabbed me, and some of the stuff happening was really intense. My favourite part was probably the phantom pregnancy just because it was so unexpected and eerie. This really built over the last third of the book, and the ending was fantastic. The newspaper clipping was a perfect conclusion, and I loved that it left open for a sequel. Fingers crossed that there will be one! I had such high hopes for this book, but I am incredibly disappointed. And frankly, I’m surprised that a co-authored books could be so bad given the fact that it has multiple brains behind it! I’m going to release some spoilers here. En realidad mi suegra y su hermano no estarían tan de acuerdo con eso, ellos están convencidos de que yo soy culpable. Sí. Necesito quitarme este peso de encima, decir lo que siento, lo que ella fue, y es, para mí. Necesito mantener vivo su recuerdo. Necesito saber cómo vivó Aura esos cuatro años conmigo, qué significaron para ella. Pero sobre todo necesito comprender, y el dolor es tan grande que es incomprensible, por eso son necesarias tantas palabras, y tan bellas, para iluminar incluso aquello que nos ha destrozado. No para ayudarnos a trascender o transformar esa pena en algo más sino primero y sobre todo para ayudarnos a verla.

I would recommend this book to anyone who loves a mystery thriller with unique characters and twists to the end. I was simply spellbound by his story and his prose. Although this book is non-fiction, you will be instantly gripped by the love story and the angst of it. It is a book that haunts you. This is the true story of Francisco's courtship and then very brief 2 year marriage to a much younger mexican PhD literature student with aspirations to become a well-known writer, before she dies tragically in a sudden accident. I didn't realize it was a dead-spouse grief book and probably wouldn't have bought it if I'd investigated further. There were some touching moments but otherwise just on and on stories of their time together and how he is dealing or rather not dealing with it and other people who were in her life after the accident - I skimmed very fast the last third of the book. I really love Urban Legends and even though I heard of Bloody Mary while I was young (a British friend told me about it while in middle school once) in France we have an equivalent with La Dame Blanche -The White Lady- that you can call out in a mirror as well, and it is her whom I’m the most terrified about. Every time I walk in the streets at night and I see a white shadow I freak out (even my 25 yo self today) and I have never been able to call her in front of a mirror, even today. And the fact that I’m scared shitless of Bloody Mary/The White Lady made this story much more real and resulting in this book being one of the most plausible horror story I ever read about. I really like the (sort-of open) ending! I feel like when horror books (or movies) are wrapped up perfectly at the end, it makes the entire thing less creepy. Which would be good for my sleep, but y’know.

Why tf would she symbolically cut her hair while being drowned instead of the hands drowning her, which are OBVIOUSLY on her body, not just her hair? You can’t drown someone by holding their HAIR DOWN guys. What’s most glaring and intentional about Crenshaw and AAPF’s approach to this heartbreaking, necessary and significant contribution to history is the spotlighting of the many unsung names most of us have never heard: Denise Hawkins (killed November 11, 1975). Netta Africa (May 13, 1985). LaTanya Haggerty (June 4, 1999). Tiraneka Jenkins (July 14, 2009). April Webster (December 16, 2018).

El caso es que quiero hacer una declaración, dar mi versión. En realidad, se la traigo por escrito. Horror stories try to create make-believe scary scenarios where everything seems so real that you will be convinced that this can happen to you too. This one definitely had me convinced. None of that is necessarily bad in a book, if the nuts are at least sometimes presented with a touch of humor. Unfortunately, there's not much humor in this book; it is, after all, a book about a promising young woman's tragic death at an early age and the loving friends and family she's left behind. It shouldn't be funny, that's not appropriate, but somehow, I was finding the family dynamics of this screwy bunch so dreadful that I was laughing while reading. And it wasn't written to be humorous! I'd love to read a psychiatrist's view of these people. Now that would be interesting reading. Once, looking for comfort in my own blinding grief, I sought solace in the book "Grief" by C. S. Lewis. I simply couldn't find any books on the market that could reach the level of agony I was experiencing, nor could I find another human being who could relate to it. "Grief" failed to comfort me with it's intellectualizing the process of grief. Grief of losing my husband had left me crying out for understanding--for some relief from the pain. Grief is emotional and physical agony...it's not something that just dissipates as the days go by like people say it does. It's something that rewires you, shatters your whole life and changes you forever. Finally, Francisco Goldman has touched the ends of that agony and is capable of sharing it with us. There is hope for those who need that comfort now...both for women and men.Goldman’s anguish over losing the love of his life is a paradox of the truest romance perhaps ever written. He found a true love and in typical romance fashion he lost it. His message to the world is this: Bobbie wondered if that's how long you truly live for - until the last person who remembers you, until the final bouquet on your grave."