Sort Your Head Out: Mental health without all the bollocks

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I am still very much a work in progress. I still overdo it sometimes. I still say yes to things I shouldn’t. I sometimes fill dead evenings with chocolate and make myself an espresso at 8 p.m. at night because . . . I don’t know why – it’s just something to do, innit? In 2018 I had a complete nightmare, losing my radio show and TV show within a couple of months of each other. Shortly afterwards, my production company descended into a state of financial pandemonium and all sorts of professional and deeply personal conflict ensued. I was miserable, exhausted and scared of the future. I had been sober for three years and, despite the prevailing chaos, I wasn’t once tempted to throw myself off the wagon. I figured however bad things seemed, my mental health would be a great deal worse with a hangover. Mind you, this was the first big test I had faced since I quit drink. It was during that period, probably when I had my second child, so we had two small children, and I had a lot of other stuff going on. I had a lot of work going on because that’s the other thing driven sort of mad with anxiety and the idea of providing and taking on much more work and stress than was healthy while simultaneously trying to really do the dad thing as best I could. And it all became overwhelming for me. And that was why I turned to drink and drugs to sort of try and self-medicate my way through it because I wasn’t able to share any of those stresses and strains with anyone.” For many middle-aged blokes like me, masculinity is still all about beer, banter and a stiff upper lip. Its starts, as many of its ilk, with the author hitting the low point. However, being pissed at the darts and holding up a sign that asks his wife to marry him does not particularly sound like a real nadir. It was - like a lot of the book - quite amusing though. We are then introduced to traumas large and small in his life. Its interesting. Raised by a single parent in relative poverty, whilst the other parent swanned around in a Bentley. There's quite a lot of this duality at play in the book. It is possible to be a blokey bloke, but be educated. Rich and down to earth etc.

It’s a real shame because since I learned to be more open about my feelings, I have been amazed by the amount of support I have received.A nationwide network of men’s groups that meet every Monday night at 7pm to chat about how they’re getting on. They’re community spaces for men to connect, converse and create. The activities are often similar to those of garden sheds, but for groups of men to enjoy together. They help reduce loneliness and isolation, but most importantly, they’re fun. Honest, expert, down-to-earth support via the Campaign Against Living Miserably helpline (0800 585858) is open 365 days per year, 5pm-midnight.

When I landed my first job in journalism I told myself that the best way to succeed was to never stop. When I finished at the office I would go home and write down ideas, do bits of research, read other newspapers and magazines obsessively. I was a product of Thatcherism – totally in thrall to my own productivity. I didn’t just want a steady job that paid the bills. I wanted to create great things constantly and be defined by them. And I also wanted to get totally shitfaced every weekend (plus sometimes on a Thursday). My writing has appeared in The Guardian, Observer, The Sunday Times, Independent, Daily Telegraph, NME, Q, Grazia, Cosmopolitan, the New Statesman and numerous others.We try to cover interesting topics and often serious subjects, but in a way that is easy to follow and understand, and it doesn’t get overly tedious and up itself. We don’t take ourselves all that seriously and don’t like the tone to remain too serious or heavy for long. Like many podcasts, it’s all about having a good chat and a laugh. In other words, we shouldn’t be blaming working-class lads for not wanting to get involved in the soft and cuddly language of mental health.