What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People

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Not only do we lean away from people who make us uncomfortable, we may also blade away (turn slightly) by degrees from that which does not appeal to us or we grow to dislike.

Officer McFadden’s detailed observations became the basis for a landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision known to every police officer in the United States. Since 1968, this ruling has allowed police officers to stop and frisk individuals without a warrant when their behaviors telegraph their intention to commit a crime. Most of us spend our days not paying more attention to our environment than we must. This leads us to miss much of what is going on in our environment, especially nonverbal communication from others. The book lays out a complete guide for learning how to read this nonverbal communication and how it applies in various situations.Leaning in or leaning away serves the same purpose: we lean in to show comfort and liking and we lean away to show discomfort and dislike. the person will actually take a step closer to me, which means he or she feels comfortable and/or favorable toward me. I take no offense to the individual’s behavior because I am simply using this opportunity to see how he or she really feels about me.

Where one foot points and turns away during a conversation, this is a sign the person has to leave, precisely in that direction. This is an intention cue. Ventral denial and ventral fronting: When things are good and we feel comfortable, we face our frontal body toward the person we’re speaking to. When things are not good and we don’t like the person or there’s a relationship change, or we don’t like the topic, then we will face away with our torso and belly. Head tilt says in a powerful way, “I am comfortable, I am receptive, I am friendly.” It is very difficult to do this around people we don’t like. Imagine for a moment that you’re the parent of an eight-year-old boy who is waiting in line to greet relatives at a large family reunion. As this is a yearly ritual, you have stood with your son on numerous occasions while he waited his turn to say hello to everyone. He has never hesitated to run up and give family members a big hug. However, on this occasion, when it comes time to embrace his Uncle Harry, he stands stiff and frozen in place. “What’s the matter?” you whisper to him, pushing him toward his waiting uncle. Your son doesn’t say anything, but he is very reluctant to respond to your physical signal. What should you do? The important thing to note here is that your son’s behavior is a deviation from his baseline behavior. In the past, he has never hesitated to greet his uncle with a hug. Why the change in behavior? His “freeze” response suggests he feels threatened or something negative. Perhaps there is no justified reason for his fear, but to the observant and sensibly cautious parent, a warning signal should go off. Your son’s deviation from his previous behavior suggests that something negative might have occurred between him and his uncle since their last meeting. Perhaps it was a simple disagreement, the awkwardness of youth, or a reaction to the uncle’s preferential treatment of others. Then again, this behavior might indicate something much more sinister. The point is that a change in a person’s baseline behavior suggests that something might be amiss and, in this particular case, probably warrants further attention. Our bodies naturally freeze, fight, or flight in different situations. This is a natural survival mechanism that allows us to compensate for the power advantage of larger predators or potential dangers to our survival. These reactions are primarily driven by the limbic brain, which helps us process information and react.

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When excited, we don’t restrict our arm movements; in fact, our natural tendency is to defy gravity and raise our arms high above our heads Gravity-defying behaviors: Similar to Happy Feet, they indicate happiness or excitement. One foot pointing upwards is an example. When it’s the heel to be lifted it’s a “starter’s position” and it may indicate interest as well as readiness to go. Feet direction: The feet will point in the direction of what we like or the direction where we would like to move towards. If someone is talking to you but their feet are pointing away, it can mean they either don’t like you and want to disengage, or that they must go somewhere else.

When we are uncomfortable with those around us, we tend to distance ourselves from them. This is especially true of individuals trying to deceive us. accurately, watch the feet and the legs; they are truly remarkable and honest in the information they convey. The lower limbs must be viewed as a significant part of the entire body when collecting nonverbal intelligence. In my business, I use my ability to read people to determine whether or not they are being truthful or are uncomfortable with something. If I see them acting in a certain way that makes me believe they are uncomfortable, I go out of my way to explain things to them so that they might be more comfortable with the situation or outcome. In my personal life, I can determine whether or not my friends or family are having a good or bad day and/or might want or need something. This book should be a dating book as well. I can't stand dating. Not many people are very up front and honest about how they feel about another person, especially on a first date. I am not kidding you when I say that there are more non-verbal "tells" on a first date than in any other situation! If you want to know if a woman likes you or not, pay attention to her actions throughout the date. I'm not an expert, but I think I can figure it out in 10 minutes or less! (Good or bad!....ok, mostly bad, lol) Access My Searchable Collection of 100+ Book Notes Key Takeaways Why non-verbal communication is important

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Lip compression, reflecting stress or anxiety, may progress to the point where the lips disappear, as in this photo. Facial blushing and blanching: It’s our response to an impactful, major event. Our blood is siphoned off from our faces in preparation for a flight or fight situation. But when it comes to guessing when someone is deliberately lying, then… It’s no more than pure guesswork. A few behaviors that indicate stress – whistling, talking to ourselves, excessive yawning, leg clenching, sliding your hands down your knee. hen I started writing the early drafts of this book, I realized that this project had been long in the making. It did not start with my interest in reading about nonverbal behavior, nor in pursuing it academically, nor in the FBI. Rather, in a real sense, it started with my family many years earlier. I learned to read others primarily from the teachings of my parents, Albert and Mariana Lopez, and my grandmother, Adelina Paniagua Espino. Each in his or her own way taught me something different about the significance and power of nonverbal communications. From my mother, I learned that nonverbals are invaluable in dealing with others. A subtle behavior, she taught me, can avert an awkward situation or can make someone completely comfortable—a skill she has performed effortlessly all of her life. From my father, I learned the power of expression;