The Best Ever Book of Newcastle United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Magpies supporter.

Non Geordie translation: to be told off or get into trouble, usually by a parent, boss or other authority figure Did you hear about the disgruntled but dim Geordie fan, unhappy with the current regime? He held a protest outside Laura Ashley’s! Painter and decorator: Do you want an extra coat on that landing? Geordie: I’m a Geordie man, so I’m uneasy with ONE coat! Gay conversion camps try to make gay people into straight people using theatre. That's like a fat camp using Korean barbecue." Sam Morrison

Usage: "Look at that charva owa there, she thinks she's a right bobby dazzla. Geordie saying: paggered Translation: “Don’t be nosy” – statement used if a Geordie is, or feels someone else is being too overly inquisitive and they want them out of their business.

A statement to foreshadow the fact that Newcastle city centre will be full of disorientated and loud Geordies. 9. “Divvin’ be nebby”

A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Newcastle United supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Newcastle United supporters, too. My children won’t even eat chips because some clever so-and-so at school told them potato was a vegetable.” – Victoria Wood It’s often used to describe a person who is generally challenged in the common sense department. Had ya pash

Important note: howay must also be followed by man, which explains the popular but somewhat confusing phrase "howay, man, woman, man!" Translation: A shuggy boat is a two-person swing boat popular at seaside fairs during the 1980s. Read More Related Articles In the space of 12 months, Rafa Benitez has gone from Napoli to Real Madrid to the Sky Bet Championship with Newcastle. Q: What has St James' Park on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison? I love Bolton… I can go to the chippy in my slippers. You can’t do that down London, you’d be arrested.” – Peter KayMy friend doesn’t like to talk about his psoriasis. He’d rather just sweep it under the carpet." Jake Lambert When the draw was made, the meeting with Mbappe and PSG was ringed on the calendar as proof that Newcastle had returned to the big time.