His Needs, Her Needs: Building a Marriage That Lasts

Product Information

Harley essentially says that romantic love is a formula. That's bad news to any die-hard romantics, but that's wonderful news to the rest of the world. It means that if we focus on understanding what our spouse's emotional needs are, work to fulfill them - and if they do the same for us - then the love feelings will return. No need to "fall in love" with a new person and have an affair which will obviously damage the marriage. Yet even spouses who cheat can learn how to 100% end their affairs and have love with their spouse again. These repaired marriages can experience the same, if not BETTER quality of love and fulfillment, to boot. (Again, this is an educated psychologist speaking from experience).

If you’re not meeting his needs this way, he may become resentful or angry. On the other hand, her needs often involve being loved and accepted unconditionally. This means that she wants assurance that he loves her no matter what, that he’ll always be there for her, and that they have a strong connection. If you’re not meeting her needs this way, she may become frustrated or sad. Conclusion Women usually want a choice between following a career and being a homemaker — possibly they want a combination of the two. FRIENDS of Intimate Conversation: 1. Conversing to inform ( personal feelings, interests and activities: supportive not critical), investigate (same), and understand (same) in positive and encouraging ways. 2. Developing interest in each other’s favorite topics of conversation. 3. Balancing the conversation (good listener and good talker, say when someone interrupts the other) 4. Giving each other undivided attention (look in the eyes) In a relationship, it’s important to meet your partner’s needs while still satisfying your own. This cannot be easy, but it’s possible with the right approach. Affection. Her husband tells her that he cares for her with words, cards, flowers, gifts, and common courtesies. He hugs and kisses her many times each day, creating an environment of affection that clearly and repeatedly expresses his care for her.

Current Broadcast

The first thing to understand is that a man’s needs are typically more physical. This means he’s primarily concerned with his well-being and wants what he thinks will make him happy. He may also place a high value on independence and self-sufficiency, which can make him frustrated or abandoned if these needs aren’t met. Her Needs After reading this book, I agree with her that it is a great book to read for anyone who wants to be in a relationship and to make it work. Knowing and respecting what is important to one's partner is essential, especially because so often men and women have different needs. Having this knowledge of these needs is incredibly helpful as I venture out into the dating world again, because it helps me to have a great framework to build my evaluation of potential partners from. I'm currently in a relationship, and it has definitely helped me to keep perspective. These concepts will be helpful in marriage, but they are also helpful before the marriage happens. Learn how to reach agreement with your wife regarding the rules expected to follow and how to discipline. Otherwise the children learn to divide and makes a deal with one parent. Both mom and dad should consult in private and give an agreed-on answer. If any of a spouse’s five basic emotional needs go unmet, that spouse becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair.

Respect: You should be respected as an individual inside and outside the relationship. This means that your partner should always treat you with respect, even if they don’t agree with you or think you’re wrong. Quality family time means increasing the quality of family time (not to be confused with feeding, clothing, watching over children, it when the family is together for the moral and educational development of the children). Historical honesty: Reveal information about your personal history, particularly events that demonstrate personal weakness or failure. It’s important to remember that no one person can meet everyone else’s needs in a relationship. That’s why it’s always important for both parties to communicate openly and honestly about what they need from the other person. This way, they can ensure that their relationship is fulfilling for both. What Are Her Needs In A Relationship? Priority 2: INTIMATE CONVERSATION (enjoys talking, its not what they talk about is important, it’s that they talk, the more intimate the better)

The book itself has most definitely opened my eyes to relationships in general ... I would never be so naive as to base my total ideology of life on one read. Nevertheless, it would be extremely ignorant to ignore someone who's spent there whole life around relationships and marital/relationship issues. The guy is an expert!! So, why would I read a book like this in my situation? Because my sister told me to! Okay, maybe that's a silly reason, but it really does come down to it. On the advice of a friend, she read this book and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura just before she met, dated, and then married her husband. She recommended them to me because they helped her to have the right mindset of how to handle the balance of "his needs" and "her needs" that comes up in any relationship. She was able to make sure that she recognized and met his needs, and then communicated to him what her needs were. By 1988 he found himself spending almost all of his time administering his clinics, and very little time doing what he enjoyed most -- improving his marital therapy program. So he began turning his clinics over to the counselors who worked with him, and the ownership of his last clinic was transferred in 1993. Since then, he has written 16 more books and hundreds of articles. Current honesty: Reveal information about the events of your day. Provide your spouse with a calendar of your activities, with special emphasis on those that may affect him or her. Honesty is good. Honesty is important. Radical Honesty can be hurtful because it leaves out compassion. Do not use “honesty” to hurt the other person. Yes, if you had an affair, your spouse needs to know. But going into gory details is likely to be the wrong approach. Therefore, I am changing this from 5* to 4*. (July 29, 2022)

Ans: Communication is one of the biggest challenges that couples face when trying to create a fulfilling relationship. Often, one person may be speaking without really listening to their partner, or they may focus on their own needs instead of those of their partner. This can lead to conflict and frustration on both sides.Love and Respect for a Lifetime: Women Absolutely Need Love. Men Absolutely Need Respect. Its as Simple and as Complicated as That... Affection is like sunshine for your relationship. It’s about hugs, kisses, and sweet gestures. Both partners definitely need affection, but according to the author women often need it more. I have seen this to be true in most relationships I know. Most women complain about men not giving them enough affection. A point for the husbands here: please make sure that if affection is important to your woman, you prioritize it. 2. The Need For Sexual Fulfillment

Financial support. He assumes the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe the family. If his income is insufficient to provide essential support, he resolves the problem by upgrading his skills to increase his salary. He does not work long hours, keeping himself from his wife and family, but is able to provide necessary support by working a forty- to fifty-hour week. While he encourages his wife to pursue a career if it is her desire, he does not depend on her salary for family living expenses.I think my wife was most offended by the section where Harley tells women readers to do their hair nicely, consume fewer calories, exercise more, and consult magazine articles for tips on beauty, or else their husband will cheat on them. Most books on marriage deal with the importance of the man fulfilling his wife's needs during daylight hours ("women are ovens, men are microwaves") by being a supportive husband, this did not put as much impetus on the man. It's up to the woman to respond to her husband's wants, no matter what. Money can be a source of tension in marriage. Especially in the modern world where both men and women are in the workforce. If your spouse prioritizes financial support as an important need in marriage, then you owe it to them to provide. A female friend of mine who is very successful once told me that the biggest challenge she had in dating was finding a partner who could provide for her financially. Despite her success, she still had the need for financial support from her partner. That is something to think about don’t you think? 8. The Need For Domestic Support The author claims that there are 10 emotional needs that both husbands and wives have. Some needs are more critical for men, while others are crucial for women. Understanding these needs is key to fulfilling each other. For example, in my case my husband loves intimacy, more than I do. So I make it a point to make sure his need for intimacy is met even though it’s not a priority for me. You will learn more about these emotional needs as you dive deeper into the book. In the meantime I’ll mention them just to give you an overview of what they are all about. 1. The Need For Affection