Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

Product Information

Healthy people are mature people. They seek to understand your concerns, discuss any issues that they need for the boundary reveals, and respect your limits. We do want to remember why we need the boundary so we will keep the boundary and it’s protection in place. Romans 1:28 – 32. God left them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. They know better but do it anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to them too. God left them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. Understand the five factors to remember when implementing healthy boundaries.Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that access.Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized scriptures that perpetuate unhealthy dynamics in difficult relationships.Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with realistic scripts and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep, and implement healthier patterns.Be equipped to say goodbye without guilt when a relationship has shifted from difficult to destructive and is no longer sustainable.Receive therapeutic wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa’s Christian counselor Jim Cress, who weighs in throughout the book. Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with realistic scripts and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep, and implement healthier patterns.

Is it unloving or selfish to set a boundary? Are Christians ever called to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer safe or sustainable? Lysa has asked these hard questions in the midst of her own relational struggles. This book was a tough one for me. I appreciated the premise of this book, which was the importance of having good boundaries set in relationships, including in a Christian context. One of my favorite points that TerKeurst made was her thorough discussion about guarding the access that people have to your heart and making sure that their level of access is in proportion to their ability to be trustworthy with that access. She provided many helpful analogies for why this is good practice, such as the fact that you wouldn't give just anyone the keys to your home and if people who you did trust to have the keys were using them in a way that was not intended, you would take them away. Boundaries help you manage your hurt without constantly losing your temper or getting filled with bitter resentment. Be equipped to say goodbye without guilt when a relationship has shifted from difficult to destructive and is no longer sustainable

Your North Star

Receive therapeutic wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa’s Christian counselor Jim Cress, who weighs in throughout the book.

Receive therapeutic and theological wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa’s Christian counselor, Jim Cress, and Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Director of Theology, Dr. Joel Muddamalle. Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with biblical principles and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep, and implement healthier patterns.

Fiction

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is not the kind of book one necessarily goes out of their way to read for entertainment or enjoyment. It is for someone going through a hard time looking for answers. I was not in such a situation while reading it. I went into this book to see what was so significant about it. Simply put, I did not find it enjoyable because it is not designed to be an enjoyable read. Despite this not being the book's goal, others will still find it incredibly helpful. I highly recommend! I went into reading this book unsure of what I would glean, but knowing that I needed to read it. This book offers so many thought provoking sentences and paragraphs. There are so many things to highlight, study along-side the truth of God’s Word, and ponder deeply. I ended my reading feeling more assure of who I am in Christ, and non-apologetic about the boundaries that need to be set in my life for the good of myself and little family as a whole.

Stop trying to manage the anxiety and instead investigate the source. Where is your anxiety coming from? Processing a possible goodbye isn’t permission to piece out or tap out. It’s a pathway toward grieving and excepting one of the toughest realities we will ever face, and unsustainable relationship.

Topical Studies

Does the level of love you experience from this person seem to rise and fall based on what you do and don’t do for them? I don't know how to rate this book, so here's my thoughts after having read the first ~70% and skimming the rest. When you talk to others about your relationship, do you find yourself exaggerating the small good things and suppressing the bad things? God, thank you for being such a safe place for me to return to when I’m struggling with my identity. When I’m tempted to look to others for validation and acceptance, please remind me to look up at you. Thank you for the grace and patience you have towards me as I grow and learn on this journey. Terkeurst’s book is highly respectful of her faith and people. As a Christian author, Terkeurst constantly finds ways to work-in respect for God; this may turn away some readers, but this is perfectly acceptable for her target audience. Additionally, despite her experience, Terkeurst does not talk about people, spouses, or those who hurt her in a disrespectful way. Instead, she expresses hope that those who cause harm grow and find emotional healing. I came out of this book feeling hopeful for myself and others, and I think most other readers will have a similar experience.

Place a boundary around your identity, protecting it, and guarding it, using Gods truth to inform and stabilize what you know, what you feel, and what you do. Lysa TerKeurst understands this dance with dysfunction and wants to be your insightful, compassionate friend who will teach you that it isn't unloving to set a boundary, and it isn't unchristian to say goodbye. You'll be relieved to learn that boundaries aren't just a good idea, they're a God idea. Without consultation and wise advice, plans are frustrated. But with many counselors, they are established and succeed.

Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst as she helps you stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships by showing you biblical ways to set boundaries—and, when necessary, say goodbye—without losing the best of who you are. The boundary you see as a protection to keep the relationship healthy, they will see as a personal rejection.