Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly

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Influence isn’t about permanently altering someone’s character or long-established belief system. People change because they want to—not because you want them to. And if you truly want to effectively influence someone, you must first open yourself up to understanding their perspective. Where she comes to rest thematically, and essentially, is in her contention that our experience in the world will be greatly improved by carefully orchestrating it. A lot of time is spent on self-presentation; how to look, how to stand, how to move, what to say, how to say it. In fact, all conversations become internally scripted to get the most from another person while giving the least of yourself. This rubs against the grain of my (perhaps poetically naive) goal of achieving as much authentic connection as is possible in my time on Earth - but then, the title of the work speaks directly to those who seek to avoid interactional injury. And authentic connection is a hotbed of interactional injury. So we're on two different paths here. And who doesn’t want to learn how to tell if someone is lying? Oh, I loved getting this secret info! I do think I can apply some of what I learned here. The opener about 9/11 was powerful, but it was a bait and switch. I thought I’d get more stories of harrowing experiences she endured as a Secret Service agent, but instead it turned into self-help blah blah blah almost right away. You can’t dismiss the importance of likability. If you’re likable, people will gravitate toward you, opportunities will open up, and life will become easier in myriad ways. Now, Evy’s not saying you should go around trying to please people all the time. We tend to equate likability with being a people pleaser, and that is definitely not what she’s advocating here. This isn’t about being a pushover or overly polite. You can still say “No” when you need to. In fact, if you care about your likability, these sorts of boundaries will probably be better received if others like you.

There are two basic streams in Becoming Bulletproof. The first is the author’s memoir of seeking out a career in law enforcement and ultimately capping that with years of work in the Secret Service. This was fascinating, offering a look at what it really takes to become a cop or an agent in the USSS. She is currently a co-host on Bravo’s reality series Spy Games. This last item is not given space in the book.Priming comes in many forms. Whether through our use of specific words, the way in which furniture is arranged, even the lighting in the room—these can all affect the way in which the person being primed (the primee) feels about their environment, themselves, and the person priming them (the primer). Imagine yourself walking into an immense well-lit corner office with overstuffed couches and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the cityscape. Sitting on the conference table is a large pitcher of coffee, two uncapped bottles of water, and a few magazines, one of which is opened to an article about your start-up company. I cannot recommend this book enough and I'd love to thank Evy for writing this book and sharing not only such invaluable, life saving information, but also her personal journey, which is just as fascinating. I loved this book so much, the quotes, the advice, everything.

Then the red flags just multiplied. She never lost the opportunity to emphasize how her actions were entirely selfless and done for the benefit of others rather than herself. She appears to be completely self-absorbed, and unalbe to look beyond the splendour of the honour bestowed on her. Given her conscious, or otherwise, uncritical promotion of the establishment line, the award they bestowed on her is not in the slightest surprising, particularly as they probably has diversity quotas to fulfil. Although Evy recalls in one chapter, that her voice was not up to scratch for a job at Fox News, her voice was perfect for a book that is about helping people, educating people and explaining empathy. I enjoyed the varied tones she had, throughout the book, but her calm, informative way of speaking that makes this book particularly in audio form - so wonderful tolisten to. It is clearsthroughout the book, she has a vast amount of knowledge, and I particularly enjoyed HOW she chose to convey it; everything from the way the chapters were structured, to the examples she chose to use, seemed carefully thought out and considered. The way the book had been read, structured and formed made listening extremely enjoyable and easier to digest despite the wealth of information and learning. I particularly like the chapter 3 and or 4 discussing "mental armour", and "the long game". Know where all the hospitals and safe places are. Know how to get there without a map/phone in case of an emergency or natural disaster. While I was hoping that a higher percentage of the book would be on behind-the-scenes gossip and technique, there is still enough of that here (technique, not gossip). You will learn a bit about the Secret Service, which is a wonderful thing. Who doesn’t love learning something about a real world organization with the word “Secret” in its name? Poumpouras can indeed help you better defend yourself in the world, even if you do not take her up on all her recommendations. While she does not exactly exude warmth, I am not sure that is necessarily a desirable trait, anyway, in a book about hardening your defenses. Still, she comes across as a very real, very understandable person, someone who knows a lot and is eager to share. By inviting someone to follow their own train of thought, open-ended questions allow you to see what is really happening within a person’s mind.

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Taking a risk and making your own decision will be better than taking someone's bad advice. "There's nothing worse than looking at a friend or spouse and thinking, I'm in this shitty situation because of you."