I Want to be a Wall Vol. 1

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Yuriko, an asexual woman, agrees to take a husband to satisfy her parents-which is how she finds herself tying the knot with Gakurouta, a gay man in love with his childhood friend with his own family circumstances. Why are they meeting up so often… and why hasn’t Yuriko told him who the friend is and invited him along too? She was someone who had trauma forced into her, had trauma visited upon her body—Mercedez Clewis was someone who weathered a lot, who came, who saw, who remembered and remembers within me. I was surrounded by people going out on dates and having sex, and I just wasn’t interested in any of it.

The hollowed-out husk that was Meru—that was Mercedez but was becoming my new name—was far too flimsy a barrier to content with the world. I Want to Be a Wall is good at showing us what it means to be a young woman in Japan, feeling pressure to conform to societal norms and get married – and then even more pressure from doting parents, to give them grandchildren.As I read the first volume, I was surprised at how much of her story I related to, from dealing with folks badgering you about when you’re gonna start dating to feeling an intimate sense of satisfaction when watching or reading about fictional relationships you’ve gotten invested in. The first volume invested me in the lives of these two fully realized characters and never overplayed the premise that they won’t fall in love. It’s a reminder that the walls that contain us, that society encourages and often imposes, can be reclaimed: we can make our own tidy—or messy—barriers, can protect ourselves and remain authentic. Moving from that starting point, this volume suggests that the series will be one filled with love and care.

The little image she used to explain how she felt about fictional romance and romance involving her, I related to that deeply. There are also hints about Gakurouta’s grandmother toward the end of the volume so that will be interesting if they come to fruition. While the story is about Yuriko and Gakurouta, a good portion of the first volume focuses on Yuriko. While there are some elements that come off weird, for lack of a better word, the dynamic between Yuriko and Gakurouta is beautiful and something I can’t wait to read more of.That said, I’m not entirely convinced at the strict heterosexuality of the other guy, given his incredibly rapid cycling of his girlfriends and some rather suggestive prose that crops up. Part of our love language is very much sharing our ships with each other, recommending manga to read, and watching whatever series we’re both into so we can cheer for our favorite couple. Anyway, I am really happy with this set up and really optimistic about its handling of aspec identity which is so, so nice since there aren't many honest explorations of those experiences.

There’s no girls like the protagonists of shoujo manga or the heroines of shounen manga… I can pretend like I don’t feel out of place… It’s another “safe space” for me.

And now, there’s me: me, who has been single for three months, who is comfortable in their skin, who’s marked their saddle-brown skin with still fresh tattoos, with shorter hair, and maybe, with my first dye job at the end of the year. I've been informed that this is likely a translation thing that they don't seperate aromanticism and asexuality, but Yuriko IS aroace, there is no denying it.

We are introduced to their circumstances, the reasons they both agreed to this arrangement, and how they are attempting to navigate the dynamic of being married to and coexisting with each other.stars and I’ll round this up to 4 because this really serves as a solid work giving a voice to an identity we don’t often see. Yuriko-san doesn’t seem to feel a desire for romance or sex,” Momo says, musing about Yuriko’s enthusiasm for BL, “yet she loves reading stories about it. However, with a disturbing development right at the end of this volume, we’re left on a cliffhanger, wondering if everything’s going to be all right.