No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together

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I recently concluded that there’s no other explanation for how you and I could end up on the same planet, in the same species, in the same century, in the same country, in the same state, in the same town, in the same hallway, in front of the same door for the same reason at the exact same time. If God didn’t believe in me, then I’d have to believe you were just a coincidence. And you being a coincidence in my life is a lot harder for me to fathom than the mere existence of a higher power.” If a scientist could figure out how to align the heart with the brain, there would be very little agony left in the world." It should come as no surprise that as I went through the process of writing “Rules of Engagement”, we would find ourselves once again disagreeing on a number of issues. There were days when I felt like a complete hypocrite. “How can I release a book instructing couples on how to fight fair when we can’t do it ourselves?” I would ask. Several times, I questioned my own qualifications in writing it. When you meet someone who is good for you, they won't fill you with insecurities by focusing on your flaws. They'll fill you with inspiration, because they'll focus on all the best parts of you." But seeing these two main characters' stories weave and unweave together, apart, and sometimes a weird mixture of the two, made for a really unique reading experience, and one that I thoroughly enjoyed while reading. I know CoHo isn’t for everyone, but her writing always completely captivates me.

Plus points when it makes me feel like I need to save my own marriage in crisis – even though I am not married, not even close to being in a relationship, and have never been in a relationship I wanted to fight to save - I am usually the one to kill them.

Translated by Fans

I went into this book blind. I don’t want to reveal too much of the plot but I want you to know that this is a story that will hit some readers harder than the rest of us. As someone who has never been married; I’m speechless. I’m gutted. I’m heartbroken for those who ACTUALLY deal with half of the things that occur within this book. I just……..wow. I’m sending a bunch of virtual hugs your way. I wish I could say I’m sorry for wanting a baby more than I want him. But that wouldn’t help, because it would be a lie. I’m not sorry.” Did she blame him for her miscarriage? No. She rather told him it’s not his fault. Did he return the courtesy and told her HIS cheating was not her fault? No. He blamed her for HIS weakness. This book had potential but from the way the whole story was structured to the ungodly amount of tragedy heaped on the heroine, CoHo made it really hard for me to care for the characters and the story. Colleen has written about a lot of heavy things, but I think this one may have hit the hardest for me. I'm not really sure why, because I've never felt the way Quinn does, nor do I think it would be crippling for me to not have a family of my own one day, but I felt every second of her pain. So deeply. I had to put this book down several times simply because I didn't know if it was the right kind of sad.

Quinn and Graham’s love story starts out in an unconventional way. From the moment they met, to when they married, to now, 7 years after that, it’s apparent that fate put them together. They are still just as much in love now as they were in the beginning, but things out of their control has changed things for them. Life has a way of doing that. Sometimes love isn’t enough, but sometimes, it is. Colleen Hoover is one of my favorite authors. Not many can evoke the kind of emotion she does with each and every book. All Your Perfects may be her most emotional one yet, at least for me it was. I’m going to put the trigger and content warnings below this paragraph! But if you want to go into this book completely blind, like many of Colleen Hoover’s readers do, please do not read my review. Plus, honestly? If you don’t have any triggers, it probably is best to go into this book blind. I won’t post any spoilers about the events of this book, but the rest of my review will talk about what this book is centered around.

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I loved Quinn and Graham's story. It was far from perfect. It was about making mistakes and losing your way but it was also about commitment and choosing to fight for love. I'm grateful I took the time to read this one. Sometimes it's important to have a reminder to focus on the positive, instead of shining a light on the negative. As Graham points out, in every piece of devastation, there's so much happy we don't remember. This book isn't excluded from that. We jump between the past and present to show that. My favorite thing about C. Hoover books is that they all involve some kind of writing. A letter, a book, a journal (it just further proves how much writing for us means to her). The letters in this one remind me a lot of Reminders of Him. I know this was written first, but I read Reminders of Him first, and they both carry the same message. That when you can't talk about things with the person you love, you should write them down. It might just save something. A marriage. A life. A relationship you never thought you could have. Graham gives a false reason as to why he did it, which he later on told Quinn the truth in his letter. His initial reason was "the whole time I had my eyes closed, I pretended it was you.”. I’ve also found that every book has many little imperfections. The Old Bard of Avon included in this, but it’s about how all those tiny little imperfections (this metaphor is becoming very rhythmic with this book’s title) wrap up to make it perfect. That’s that last star - in a world where nothing can be perfect, that last star is handed to how beautiful an author can execute it's imperfections. in true colleen hoover form, this story perfectly explores the emotions that draw two people to each other and the emotions that, even during the most horrible of circumstances, keep them together. i love how she describes the real and heavy side of love, but always shows how hopeful that love can be, as well. she makes me love love, the good and the bad of it. this just came out and im already dying for her next book!

Annnnnddddd that’s all I’m going to say plot wise, no spoilers. As per usual with a Coho book I think it’s best to go in blind (like I did) and see what unfolds. I do think this subject matter will be VERY difficult for some readers. But I think Hoover handled it all brilliantly. And he was SUCH a good guy and loved her SO much that instead of realising the love of his life is clinically depressed he cheats on her and then justifies this by claiming he was thinking of HER all the time. All your perfects”, is told in alternating past and present chapters. In the past, you’ll learn about how Quinn and Graham meet when their worlds are crumbling apart, fall in love, and deciding to build a future together. In the present, you’ll learn about how Quinn and Graham are struggling to hold on to their happily ever after. They struggle to mend their relationship because they face a lot of challenges that threaten their broken marriage. In this story, you’ll learn that there is no manual on how to fix a marriage or make it perfect. And it’s up to Quinn and Graham to choose whether they’ll overcome or succumb to the challenges. Whether they’ll step out of the constraints of the norm and be willing to forge a new path. Either together or alone. Sometimes I look at him and feel such an overwhelming appreciation for him, I almost want to write thank-you notes to our exes." Firstly I’m so sorry that I gave five stars to your book. If goodreads application let me borrow five more stars to give this book, I happily do that!I have to make one concession though. I did tear up a few times. Some of it because I felt sorry for Graham and felt the pain of their unhappiness with their situation, but most of it because I was sad about something else, and any mild inconvenience would have made me cry. So I am not sure how accurate this is as an indicator of the emotionality of the book.

I thought this story was chemical, it broke my heart in the best way and as much as I hurt - I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to leave Quinn and Graham. I wanted to see every detail of what their lives would turn out to be. Sometimes, I think I appreciate Colleen Hoover when she marries the romance genre with sensitive and usually, skirted upon topics within literature. This very rarely is approached in today's writer society and so, it's colossal in it's results. I changed my mind about writing a review about this book and decided write an open letter to Colho! Cheating in romance books are a hard pass for me and very rarely do I overlook it, unless the character walks away from whoever they have been cheated by. Because THAT is a good role modeling system for any young people that decide to read this book. I would hate for younger me to read a book where one of the MC forgives the other for cheating on them. Nothing she said or did made me feel like this is a relationship where both parties are, or were, equally emotionally involved. There were times where I would say that she definitely only used him for one thing and one thing only: a necessary ingredient for making a child.

We’re also going to have bad days and sad days and days that test our resolve. Those are the days I want you to feel the absolute weight of my love for you.” And that ending? Ehhh. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t fleshed out either. It felt very rushed. They opened the box, they cried, and everything just smoothed itself out. However, it was worth mentioning that they apologized to each other and renewed their commitment. But overall, it felt, I don’t know, underwhelming and rushed after all that build up. The reason why I’ll buy any of her books in a heartbeat is because of the way they make me feel. There’s something about her plots that demand my heart to think about it for days. Weeks. Months. Years. I’m not surprised that this book isn’t any different from the rest of her books. I was just mostly surprised of the tremendous toll it really took on me. Like I’m not fine. At all. Will I ever be? I don’t know. This story…...YOU have NO idea what’s waiting for YOU. This book made me feel like it was a paper shredder. All it did was shred me to tiny little pieces. And then shredded those tiny little pieces into even more tinier little pieces.