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The novel is dedicated to her father Jim, who was a very hands-on dad, and to her friend and fellow writer Sarah Bannan, head of literature at the Arts Council, whose son Ruairi tragically died in February. Author Claire Kilroy captures micro-moments of the struggle that are so real for the new mom but gain little by way of support or sympathy from any quarters but especially close quarters and that lead to resentment, seething resentment, threatening at times to crush the marriage. In fairness these do provide the novel's comedic moments (darkly comedic) and these are most successful in their descriptions of passive aggression:
As well as the emotional dissection, Kilroy is unrestrained when it comes to the physical toll of motherhood, asking at one point, "Why the burden fall on us, the females, with our ruptured bodies?" I sneezed and you evaded my grasp. ‘Come on,’ I said, rooting around for a clean tissue, but could only find your dirty one, which I used, ‘the birds have gone to bed.’ Sailor is a handful in the same way that any baby or toddler is. Their existence and demands are endless. Soldier’s husband is busy at work, distinctly absent in caring for their child, so she feels isolated and alone in this new, intense way of life. If Kilroy’s novel ended here, it would have done more than enough to locate her among the ranks of motherhood’s laureates alongside the likes of Helen Simpson, Rachel Cusk and Sarah Moss. But it doesn’t. The final section expands – abruptly, beautifully, agonisingly – to grapple with the true existential crisis at the heart of motherhood: the understanding, born with the baby, that we’re all time’s prisoners and “it will do us in in the end”. We crawl out, ultimately, from the chaos of early motherhood, but the love continues to obliterate us. “I wasn’t scared of dying until you were born,” Soldier says towards the novel’s close. Forget the sleepless nights; that’s the real horror, right there.Langan, Sheila (17 February 2011). "Young Irish Writers Part 2: Claire Kilroy". irishamerica.com. Irish America LLC. How many novels and how many works of non fiction have been written by women describing, reflecting, and making sense of childbirth? The change to the woman, now mother; the mental battle as joy, and unbridled love, fight with the enormity of the immediate life change. Exhaustion, unremitting responsibility, physical pain and body transformation; all experienced under the huge strain of sleep deprivation like you’ve never imagined. Saying mothers need ‘me time’ is like saying homeless people need homes. You need to give mothers me time. Someone has to mind the baby.” As Soldier asks: “Who mothers the mothers?” Overwhelmed and exhausted and on the brink of collapse she is at times a risk to her child, to his safety, and yet somehow the idea coexists that she is his fiercest protector and will do anything for him. This idea is stretched to the point of suggesting the mother is the sacrificial lamb upon which the life of her baby depends. Meanwhile her husband continues with his normal life and regular routines and seems oblivious to the chaos that swamps them. It had me remembering the utter loneliness of mothering a newborn and emphasising with Soldier’s love, fears and anger. The rage that she felt at her husband and his ability to leave and go to work and his inability to "help" care for his son. Wowsers!
You think this tree that shelters you is unassailable, Sailor, but look again. Even on the stillest of days, every last leaf is trembling.”You open the door and look out into the rain and realise that there is nowhere for you to go; and even if there were, you cannot leave. You might as well try to walk away from your own arm.” This is Anne Enright, in typically brilliant form, on the invisible ties of motherhood, in her best-selling memoir Making Babies. It’s a quote that wouldn’t be out of place in Claire Kilroy’s new novel Soldier Sailor, a provocative and intriguing book that lays bare the delights and demands of new motherhood. She cherishes the prospect of sharing precious years with her child in the future before the ravages of age take their toll on both of them. But also with torment and wonder if her love for her son is worth the anguish. How would I describe 'Soldier Sailor'? Only as the most intense expression of new motherhood I've ever encountered. This account, visceral and unwavering, puts that experience on a level playing field with any endurance test ever undertaken and really triumphs in asking how something so natural can be so hard? Heimbold Chair". villanova.edu. Villanova University. Archived from the original on 27 November 2014 . Retrieved 13 November 2014. If you do nothing, you will be auto-enrolled in our premium digital monthly subscription plan and retain complete access for 65 € per month.
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