DIRTY LAUNDRY: Why adults with ADHD are so ashamed and what we can do to help

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This book not only explains the difference in thought processes of the ADHD brain but does a wonderful job of how to address and deal with them in day to day life. Rox and Rich you have provided me with invaluable language and methods of describing to people what’s going on inside my head.

Filled with heartbreak and humour in equal measure, DIRTY LAUNDRY is an invaluable resource both for neurodivergents and the people who love them. And Rich's side of the ADHD struggles makes me hopeful that I don't have to hide that part of myself away. It’s a minefield – and often even people within one community can have really differing views on the language they personally prefer – but I think if you’re trying to be fair and sensible and understanding – then you’re on the right path. If your or your partner’s ADHD is more at the level of annoying rather than disabling, and you just want some comic relief alongside guidance to help you navigate everyday life, this book might feel too heavy. So I particularly related with that plaguing, awful worry that you must be broken or somehow incompetent at being a person.

A book full of different couple’s Split View with coping mechanisms laid out could have been interesting, but again, the SAME example used by both persons just gets boring.

Pink and Emery reinforce the point that acceptance doesn't equal "no accountability" but rather realistic, practical strategizing.

If I'd have one criticism (and I do) is that the book (and the social media) are from the perspective of helping the ND partner function in society and how much the NT partner is doing, how aware they are, how patient, loving and understanding. I couldn’t help giggling at the “hyper-focusing on this book” line as I sat doing oddball tasks intending to do just that.

If you have ADHD - or love somebody who does - DIRTY LAUNDRY will change your life, and your relationships. If you (or anyone you know) may have ADHD, you may be fooled into thinking the 'symptoms' set out by the pair are textbook when they are decidedly not. Picture this: Rox is in her university library, passionately helping her fellow students study for their upcoming economics exam. Despite my personal squick, I'd definitely recommend this for partnered folks with new ADHD diagnoses.Then I remembered, oh yes, that's because I smashed a pane of window in the door when I locked myself out, or asked a work colleague or neighbour to help me break in. Given the majority of the books advice is 'be heavily reliant on someone neurotypical for everything' its not really a surprise. I really like the couple's TikToks and find them really relatable and funny, but for some reason the book just doesn't hold up the same. W moim odczuciu za duży nacisk został położony na relację małżeństwa, co może nasuwać wniosek, że osoba z ADHD jest niejako zależna od partnera. Every chapter starts with a common symptom of ADHD, like impulsivity or struggles with finances, and an earnest moment from their own lives to show you how they navigate the symptom together.