If I Let You Go: The Heartbreaking, Shocking Richard and Judy Book Club Pick

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As news of Janet's heroism spreads, things begin to spiral out of control, with TV appearances, crowdfunders, and celebrity friends. If I Let You Go by Charlotte Levin is a deeply moving and gripping portrayal of a woman coming to terms with loss. I had such a clear vision of what they all looked like, especially Colin who I could have put my book in the freezer for many times! On the day of Claire's 18th birthday Janet makes a fateful decision - when events spiral out of control she finds herself being hailed as a heroine for saving the life of another little girl in a train crash. She's stuck in a rut in life when both her life and routine are shattered, culminating in her being involved in a train crash.

Janet Brown is still suffering from the grief of losing her 7-year-old daughter, Claire, 11 years ago. However, the guilt she still carries about a devastating loss that happened eleven years ago, cannot be erased.She can remember little of the evening, but footage emerges of her helping to rescue the daughter of a local celebrity. But the experience was like eating too much sickly chocolate, only very briefly satisfying and making you feel you had better things to do with your time. I really enjoyed Charlotte Levin’s first novel If I Can’t Have You so I was really looking forward to reading this. After yet another argument when Colin does something horrendous, Janet disappears out the back of their house, which backs onto a train track. She acts as our narrator, walking us thoughtfully through everything that happens with occasional glimpses into the darkest moments of the past, showing us little pieces of a much larger puzzle.

She lives with her husband who won’t be winning any “husband of the year” awards and she’s still grieving an unimaginable loss eleven years ago. If you’re looking for a slow thriller with exceptional characters and plot (and divine writing) then definitely pick this one up, you won’t be disappointed. Though he is dealing with his own grief, his treatment of Janet and his emotional control of her was hard to read in places. There is real redemption, real light at the end of a beautifully written novel that is a joy to read, tender, moving, and at times slyly funny. Swept along in the media storm, as Janet’s memories come back, she realises that she didn’t save Lizzie.If I Let You Go by Charlotte Levin is a deeply moving and compelling portrayal of a woman coming to terms with loss.

She becomes embroiled in a series of events where she makes some questionable choices, led by both her grief, a bout of memory loss and influences both good and bad, she is left with a huge choice to make.This is an intelligent forensic examination of an abusive relationship and has at its centre a woman who is tormented by her share of responsibility for the death of her young daughter. Janet was both the hero and villain in her own story - she was flawed, troubled and damaged, she made terrible choices but underneath it al was a kind hearted woman who just wanted to feel love and safety in a world that had none of those things. Heartrending and surprising, with an very believable protagonist, this is a tale of loss, grief, abuse and fractured relationships. Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an advance digital copy to read and review.