Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail: A swoon-worthy, laugh-out-loud queer romcom

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In writing the book] I realized that there were so many other things that I had [to do]. I had to bring in a whole crew. I had to think about that. I was Googling “What is it like being on an HGTV show?” I had to kind of figure out what it would actually look like behind the scenes. So for me, it was just really a mechanism that was already built in because she was an interior designer but also a way to increase what she was at risk of losing for both of them if this didn’t go well. ASHLEY HERRING BLAKE: Well, Astrid’s experiences are very similar to my own. I pulled on a lot of personal experience because I was kind of a late-in-life realizer of my own sexuality. A lot of the reason why sexuality can be really confusing, especially if you end up kind of falling under the bisexual umbrella, pansexual, or anything like that, is that you’re attracted to multiple genders. So, there’s a lot of things that you can just kind of shove under the rug when you’re growing up or when you first start coming into [your] sexuality.

So, I think that’s a pretty common theme with millennials. That was definitely something that I knew Astrid was going to deal with because [of] the way I set her up in Delilah’s book. Everything in her life was pretty much decided for her either explicitly by her mother or just by what Astrid knew was the right choice in terms of what was expected of her. I knew I wanted her to really hold up to the title that she doesn’t fail — which means she must fail. I needed her to fail spectacularly in every sense of the word. And my favorite romances to read are not only [with people] figuring themselves out so they can be with another person, but they’re also figuring themselves out for themselves. Regardless of Jordan, Astrid needed to get out of the cycle she was in. I wanted readers to read that experience and be like, “Oh, that’s [something] that I can relate to.” Or “I’m glad she had that support because she has all her friends around her, even if her mom is not exactly into it.” I wanted to capture the angstiness of “Oh, my gosh, I don’t think I am who I have always thought I was,” which has its own level of trauma and hardship just realizing that in and of yourself. But I wanted to balance that with [the idea of] I have these people around me — no matter who I am or what I am, or how I see myself, label or no label, whatever it is — [who] accept me and support me no matter what. So to me, that balance right there was really important with Astrid’s journey, for sure. AHB: Isabel, Astrid’s mom, was built in from Delilah. This is my first experience writing a series, so it was very interesting, like coming to book two thinking, “I can’t change any of these people.” [ Laughs.] They just are who they are because of how I made them in the first book.

Sometimes, I do make certain decisions because I’m like, well, obviously, Astrid needs this problem because Jordan is going to complement it. But I think they’re both at a point where they need to change what their normal everyday life is, career and romance [wise]. And so, they both went about that in very different ways.

KATIE TAMOLA: One of the main characters is questioning her sexuality. How do you best navigate thoughtfully crafting such an experience?

KT: One of the protagonists also seems to struggle with a need to please her mother, who seems impossible to satisfy. Why did you include this dynamic? KT: This novel presents a 30-something who realizes she doesn’t really like her profession. What made you want to explore the pressures that 30-somethings might feel when it comes to their careers?

So, I think with Astrid, I really wanted to balance the very real, authentic way that I experienced it with her character and all the things that she’s dealing with from her mom. For Astrid — well, I think for a lot of people and for me — [she was] just dealing with compulsory heterosexuality, where you just assumed that this is what you’re supposed to be like. I wanted to balance that, though, with a lot of support. A lot of times, it can be very traumatic. We read about kids that have come out and realize [their] sexuality, but what does it really look like as an adult? And I think it can still be very harrowing if you don’t feel like there’s people around you who can see you. And while there are certain experiences where adults are going through this, and they’re not seen, and they’re not supported by family or people around them, I wanted Astrid’s experience to be a little gentler. Shondaland caught up with Blake to discuss characters figuring themselves out, prominent career and life changes, HGTV shows, and more. KT: Conversely, you have another character, similar in age, who enjoys what she does but is at a point in her life where she thinks everything she touches turns to destruction. Is this a case of two characters needing to meet each other when their own lives are somewhat derailed, whether they realize it or not?I already knew that Isabel was like that. And I knew that a lot of Astrid’s journey, even in Delilah’s book, with her fiancé and her marriage and all the things that she thought were gonna happen [that] didn’t end up happening, was mostly the result of Isabel and Isabel’s expectations on her.